These read-aloud books come straight from hell
Of course we read something to our children. Honor. We get along well with Swedish, single-headed brats in colorful mansions, endless Wimmelbuch search orgies and even find it a bit funny when the Olchis drink shampoo (even though we secretly save the number of the poison emergency center). But there are children's books that ... the ... the ... so ... they just like kids. To put it nicely.
Conni books
The undisputed number 1 on the Hater list of all parents. Why is Conni so annoying? While our brood seamlessly finds one fit of rage in the next, Conni Mama's explanations are totally logical. Put her down. Sure, mom. Thanks for the tip, Mom. I understand you, Mom. However, it is really this super-tummy that is really exhausting. She explains everything, she does not scream, Conni never puts her in front of the TV to have a rest for a while, and she always has patience. So always in the sense of? Always ?. We have some title suggestions for the endurance test. How about:
Conni creams the sink with Penaten cream, Conni tears Jacob's Teddy, Conni has no mood for day care, Conni sunk Mama's toothbrush in the toilet?
Then we would join again. That's what we know.
Maluna moonlight
A at times ill-tempered fairy godmother who zips through the magic forest and likes to romp about in a fairy tale. Yep, it was clear that it worked. Evening after evening, to explain to lousy children that they have no mood like Maluna and thus no right to such mood. Not even if you have read three chapters only four chapters. Insolence. And then the explanation attempts, why one does not get sweets in the real world every time, if one fell asleep well. Phew!
Disney Pixi books
They are beautiful, they are colorful, the characters on the cover are known and loved before children have ever seen a movie inside: Disney Pixi books. They cost almost nothing and are particularly fast in the shopping cart when Lightning McQueen or Elsa and Anna are on it. The evil awakening then comes when reading aloud. Granted, almost everyone would fail in trying to sum up an hour and a half movie in fifteen sentences. But let's face it: The animals gathered to pay homage to the king and humbly bow to each other? Uh ok. Alright, kids?
Princess lillifee
Princesses and fairies? These are the bestsellers in the girls' book segment for the little ones. With glitter of course. Unicorns should not be missing. Besides pink, ballerinas, animals, and pink, you really can not say that often enough. A fox who has simply combined all that. Bad tongues claim that a market analysis is the birth of this book idea. But that's nonsense, of course. Anyway, Princess Lillifee flies pretty successfully through the nursery and spreads her Healing World Stardust everywhere. The only break in style: Your pig friend with the questionable name Pupsi. Quota faecal humor in Lillifee's glittering world, so to speak. But of course that has nothing to do with market research. Not really!
Grimm's Fairytales
"You're right, you must not just push people into the oven, that's only Hansel, because the witch is so evil, but such witches are not really in real and that does not really burn, because the stove of course, and no, I will not expose you to your sister in the woods, of course, should we ever be poor. No, not even your stepsister. We would feed them anyway. Promised!?
Any questions?
