Parent experiment: Sleep longer thanks to Ausschlälteller?
Our blog favorite: Children are unpredictable beasts. Since you think, you have found the perfect everyday relief strategy - and then flies in the field test everything around the ears. Blogger Patricia von The Nuf Advanced has exposed us with her experiment - and tears of laughter in the eyes. (Because we also recommended the Aufwachteller in the ChroniquesDuVasteMonde MOM, but we know people who are great at it.)
When I was little, my parents could always sleep in. I just woke up at 5 o'clock and watched TV until they got up. That was sometimes so long that I voluntarily set the breakfast table because I was bored watching TV.
Although it did not hurt me and I grew up anyway, I do not want that with my children. Alone, because there is not just one station running children's things, but ten, and beyond that, another twenty stations, where things run 24 hours a day, the kids better not see. There are also seven to thirteen other reasons why I do not want that.
I guess, on average, I sleep six hours every night. If these six hours are uninterrupted, then I feel fresh the next morning.
The youngest kid does not care about the hours of my nocturnal rest period. It is ALWAYS at 5.58 o'clock. So when I get to bed late, the usual six hours rather four and in addition between one and three children lying in our bed, then I hallucinate that there could be any solution to my sleep problem.
In the ChroniquesDuVasteMonde Mom an "Ausschlafteller" is presented in this context. One should simply prepare a plate for the next morning for the offspring, which could already be eaten empty, while the parents continue to sleep happily. That would satisfy the morning hunger a little and at the same time represents a nice occupation.
Open to suggestions of any kind, I have tried this today. When I went to bed at about 1 o'clock, I packed some corn waffles and raisins and other dried fruits on a plate and covered it with a second plate. As a child 3.0 on time 5.58 awoke and gaily trumpeted: "All aufstääähn, I'm wahaaach!", I rolled over to my side and breathed: "On the carpet in the nursery a little surprise waiting for you Go go there and then play a little bit."
The child, very interested, marched to nursery. "WHERE IS AN OVERRASHUNK? MAMAAAAAA ???!" "There's something to eat on the carpet." "And the surprise?" "That's the surprise." I hear Child 3.0 lifting the plate and mumbling "Corn Waffle? MAMA, IS DE MAISWAFFL DA AMAZING?" "Yes, and the raisins, can you eat everything and then play, I'll sleep now."
I hear nibble, pull my blanket over my shoulder and just want to close my eyes as a child 3.0 shouts, "Can you drink something, too?"
Damn, I should have thought of that. I get up, pour water into a water bottle, hand it over to the child and go back to bed. The child is drinking. "Is that just Wassa? MAMAAAA?" I try to keep quiet. "MAMAAAA, ISCH WILL BUT MILSCHSAFTSCHORLÄ!" "Does not exist now, I want to sleep."
This is followed by 90 seconds rest. "Can I build something?" "Yes of course." I hear Lego rattle clapper. The child is tapping into the bedroom. "Can you assemble that?" "No, I want to sleep." RÄÄHHHBÄÄÄHHHH "OK, I'll put it together now, but then you'll let me sleep."
Under instructions I build three ships and a submarine with horse trailer. The child is falling back into the nursery. "Are the sines all mixed up?" (...)
After an hour I give up and trot like a vending machine into the nursery. The child lovingly clings to my leg and asks in a warm voice: "Did you sleep well Mama?" The trouble vanishes and another day begins with bloodshot eyes and the hope of a nap.
* Upon repeated questioning a term clarification: "Milchsaftschorle", is a construct that has invented child 3.0: It represents a hypothetical drink that will be presented after the weaning, to facilitate the transition to conventional juice spritzer. Child 3.0 demands since the 18th month after.
Text by Patricia Cammarata, originally published on www.dasnuf.de
