Michael Wendler (46) & Laura (18): Your teenage daughter falls in love with a much older man? excuse or grant?
Your teenage daughter falls in love with a much older man? excuse or grant?
For the Wendler and his new love Laura can not go fast enough. Only a few months ago, their relationship has become official, now they are already planning their future together. They want to buy a house together, Laura wants to emigrate for the Wendler in the US and just before graduating high school in Germany whiz.
Michael Wendler and Laura express their wish to have children
Even children are common for Michael Wendler and Laura. The singer (46) makes no secret of his intentions for the future with his new love. He can definitely imagine more children with his young girlfriend.
In the TV show "Goodbye Germany" he recently revealed:
I love children and would like to have some.
Laura too could imagine a common family:
Laura would like children, like to marry and stay here forever in the US. Nothing is excluded.
The 18-year-old confirms: "It's not about me for God's sake. I'm in love. "
For the young Laura Wendler, who already has a 17-year-old daughter from his previous marriage with Claudia Norberg, the "food point," as she says. She can not wait to leave her life behind in Germany and live with Wendler together in Florida.
Allow in love teens? That's what the expert says
Many observers ask: Should parents allow an in love teenager in such a situation or rather try to talk the child away such far-reaching plans? We interviewed an expert, the couple therapist Eric Hegmann from Hamburg.
He knows his way around love stories of all ages and thinks to Love with great age difference: "Of course, parents want to protect their children from injury, and especially those who love, who does not remember decades later the first bad heartbreak and how terrible it felt?" Nevertheless, he advised against putting a teenager in love under pressure, if one considers as mother or father the selected partner of the relationship of the child for unsuitable.
Complain, threaten, complain ... all these mechanisms provide a distance between children and parents. But actually all want emotional closeness. It would be fatal to sabotage this proximity. I would not advise to play for pleasure where there is none. But I would advise against reproaches.
Anyone who still wants to appeal to the reason of the child, should stay with his arguments with himself. The relationship expert advises: "Do not start to generalize your child's love story with sentences like: 'Such relationships never last'or'Such types are always unreliable'Whoever reminisces about his own youth may have already learned for himself that such prophecies only lead' to prove that it will be different for one '.
Couple therapist Eric Hegmann© Eric Hegmann / PR
Eric Hegmann advises: "Think of riding a bike. You have your child? hopefully ? also not scolded when it fell, but it straightened up."Even if a fall can not be ruled out just as in cycling, relationships can lead to separations, but Eric Hegmann explains:" Whether we emerge strengthened or weakened from these divisions, however, has something to do with our self-esteem. Once weakened, those affected quickly develop the conviction that separation is their fault because they did not make enough effort, because they made mistakes, or because they just were not good enough. But with a strong self-esteem, you can look back and grow. "
That's why parents should be keen to strengthen and not weaken the self-esteem of their children, so that they can emerge stronger from painful experiences. Otherwise, it may happen that adolescents acquire protective strategies to avoid similar injuries, possibly their entire (love) life long. One of them could be never to trust someone again.
"Help the child, no matter what happens"
That's why it's important, according to Eric Hegmann, "that parents can stand by their side as trustworthy interlocutors even if they have different opinions that are completely normal, and that's only possible if one's attitude is stringent.This means that one can say why one considers a great age difference to be problematic, or perhaps one's own experiences in a comparable situation (when one himself has decided against the advice of the parents), but leaves the decision with the child, And makes it clear that no matter what happens, regardless of the child's decision to stand by him. "
All episodes of "Goodbye Germany" can be seen on TV NOW.
You want to know everything even more exactly? Or do you have further questions that are burning under your nails? Eric Hegmann's website offers an extensive selection of online courses and coaching offers.
And if you want to share your relationship or dating experience with others, just have a look at our community!
Video: Michael Wendler posts sexy shots of his 18-year-old friend Laura