Attractive people have it easier - what does that mean for the others?
Thick people are lazy, skinny people who have pimples, feed on fast food, and if your hair is too wild, you're a mess or you can not handle your life.
We all know that these are prejudices? but it does not help: how we treat each other, they still shape us.
How prejudices can become self-doubt
Surely, each one of us could contribute a number of experiences on this topic. For example, in a job interview somebody told me that I did not look like I was very resilient.
Cool, that he told me so openly. After all, it gave me the chance to respond and assert myself. Would he have said nothing to me? possibly because of this assumption? If I had refused a qualifier, I would have doubted my qualifications or talked about other mistakes and weaknesses.
But since people are rarely so honest, it probably happens much more often than we realize that we doubt UNS, even though only our APPEARANCE has caused some stupid association and reaction.
Ex-ugly ducklings tell
Especially people who have undergone a blatant external change in their lives can sing a song about how much impact our appearance has on how other people treat us. For example, Jud Nichols tells Vice that he has received more compliments since losing weight, and that people are more friendly to him and more interested in him.
A post shared by JUD NI © HOLS (@judnichols) on Nov 25, 2016 at 7:01 pm
Kameron Rytlewski has also observed in the course of his optical transformation that others laugh more often about his jokes. Vice, he said, "I have a pretty dry, sarcastic sense of humor, and when I looked unhealthier, people may not have understood that I'm joking, and today they seem to understand it better." Or they are just friendlier and try harder because they want to be liked by Kameron ...
A post shared by Kameron Rytlewski (@kameronrytlewski) on Jan 24, 2017 at 9:00 am
A post shared by Kameron Rytlewski (@kameronrytlewski) on Aug 27, 2016 at 6:54 pm
The halo effect - prejudice scientifically studied
Or: You accuse the Kameron, whom you find pretty, of humor rather than the Kameron, whom they perceive as unattractive - which brings us back to prejudice. Incidentally, social psychologists call these prejudices a halo effect, ie a "halo" effect: we involuntarily infer from a familiar property of a human to other qualities about which we actually know nothing at all.
Against this background, the exterior automatically gains importance. Because when we are not anonymously on the Internet, the appearance is usually the first property that we perceive in a person who is, so to speak, "known", and so the appearance often shines particularly strong on our perception of other properties out.
Do unattractive people have an ass card then?
Only: What do we do now from this realization? What is the halo effect and experience of us or people like Jud and Kameron? We are not all the same "attractive". Do we have to accept that people with certain external characteristics have better chances in our society than others? That would be fatal, especially for women, because in the recent past we all knew beauty ideals that only a tiny minority can naturally fulfill ...
What we already have a clue to which we can connect:
1. We urgently need a broader concept of beauty
And not only theoretically, but also practically! That the Playboy featured a woman with dress size 44, may not be an exception. Because our habits of seeing influence our perception of beauty or normality is proven (how thin models influence our self-image, you read here).
If we only ever see one type of woman in online shopping, on Instagram, in magazines, series and films, then there are many other types left that look foreign to us and tend to be unattractive. When only trained men embody heroes, we do not believe in the strength of the lanky. Only when the media allow and show more diversity can the social sense of good looks develop in such a way that not so many people are excluded from the outset.
2. We should strive to be open-minded to all people
The fact that the halo effect is known does not give us the legitimacy to imply fragility for thin people. On the contrary, if we already know so well about our subconscious mind, we are more or less in the duty to counteract with our consciousness.After all, are we humans? we can do that.
3. We should not make our self-worth dependent on our body!
At fifteen we get pimples, with 30 maybe the first wrinkles, with 40 gray hairs and with 70 a hunchback? something is always. However, how different we look in the course of our lives proves that who we are does not show our body.
Sure, if other people disgust us because we have pimples, it can be very hard to build self-esteem. After all, we are social beings and need a degree of recognition and validation. That's why it's okay if we get the best out of us and post the nice selfie instead of the ugly one.
Nevertheless, we should be clear about it: Our body is a part of us. No more and no less. He is not a dough that we can shape arbitrarily. Instead of trying to get something out of our body that is simply not in it, we should learn to appreciate and treat it as quickly as possible.
Only when we are okay with us, we can develop the courage to show ALL our sides to others - even those who do not see them at first sight. Even if attractive people may get more popularity and get jobs more easily, we should be aware of one thing: Those who love us, are here for us and weep when we go do not because we have had the perfect BMI all our lives.
