Family
July 1, 2024

Worries of a child: This is how poverty feels in Germany

Our blog favorite: Roksana Winkler writes on her blog Lottesmotterleben about her life in Berlin with two children. The trained educator is rather shy, calm, highly sensitive. Loud speeches are not her thing. She can write for that. And how!

I would like to say one thing in advance. I found this post incredibly difficult. This is part of my past and it is the most personal thing I have written so far. One always reads statisks of children in poverty, the fewest children speak for themselves. Now that I have children myself, I often look back on my past. Above all, I see the love of my family, but also the not so nice things.

I am a divorce child. My mother raised my two sisters and me alone. However, my youngest sister still has her father, who not only financially cares for her, but is still very close to my mom and therefore connected to her. We other two, we have no father. I last saw him when I was 12 and only once since then (but he did not recognize me, which was fine with me).

Three children - no maintenance from the father

Since my father did not take care of us and my mother did not get any support for us, I know firsthand what it's like to be one of those kids who are "poor". Poor in this context means what one understands in Germany as poor. We always had food and always a roof over our heads. No matter how small that may have been.

My mother always tried not to let us feel it. My mother renounced every luxury, no matter how tiny he had been, to offer us something. I got it anyway.

The mood changed at the end of the month

Not just the obvious things like no brand name clothing or that my sneakers had only two stripes instead of three, but also how the mood changed at the end of the month. I got word that she never bought anything new to wear. I got to know how every year for the new school year, the mood was more oppressive.

I still remember how I saved money for a year from my relatives, so I could buy the necessary additional books myself and my mother did not have to do that. School trips were fun, but in the back of my mind I always had the price and the question of whether it's okay to have fun.

I paid the broken textbook from my savings - secretly

Once in high school, I ruined a book. Not on purpose, but of course I should replace it. The book cost 30 marks. In order not to add extra weight to my mother, I never told her what had happened and paid the book off my savings.

At that time, we just moved to Neukölln (our first apartment after Frauenhaus and refuge), and we children still had to take the S-Bahn and the bus to the elementary school in Grunewald. It took a few weeks until the change of school, my mother did not want us (again) to have children in a new school in the middle of the school year.

Anyway, my sister always drove with me or her friends, who lived near us and whom we also knew from the women's shelter. One day she and the neighborhood kids did not come home punctually and I was supposed to drive to her while my mother first informed the police and then drove off to find the children.

At ten, I was completely finished with the world

In all the excitement I forgot my monthly pass and it came as it should. At school, my sister was not, and when I drove back, checkers got on the train. I started crying and sobbing because I drove black and now my mother had to pay for my stupidity. The new apartment was barely furnished, all the furniture had to be bought gradually and then something happened to me.

Someone must have felt sorry for me, because nothing happened. I never knew if the controller passed me by or one of my seat neighbors came in for me. I was completely finished with the world. There I was ten.

The worries of that time still shape me today

No matter how hard you try, you can not hide everything from the kids. Poverty and worry characterize one. I still do not understand how to spend 60-70 euros on shoes if I can get a similar model for half. The saved money can be used by the end of the month.

It is still the case that although I can live well from my earned money, it will change towards the end of the month. Worried. Stiller. Because it has always been like this.

A few days ago I was in the net and have considered whether I should buy the crochet book for 3.99 euros or not but rather something for the children. I sleep on a 800 € mattress and wonder if it is not cheaper. Every major issue almost hurts my body, I always wonder if it really is necessary.

To buy something for me? Or rather for the children?

Although I have no big money worries, I think three times whether I buy something for myself or rather for the children. I have not bought a winter jacket for years, because I do not see what I should spend 200 euros, if I am just as warm in sweaters and transitional jacket.

I see the current cinema prices and do not realize the idea that it costs so much to sprinkle for 98 minutes. If my friend makes me to eat, I never order anything over 10 euros. I buy my clothes either on sale or second hand.

I did not wish for a birthday because I did not want to be a burden

When the situation eased off, because my mother found a better paid job and I moved out later, I was really happy when I saw my mother finally treat herself. Often enough I did not wish for my birthday because I did not want to burden my mother.

But not only were we worried. What my mother could give, she gave in abundance. She has so much love to give, so much care. She is always there for me, for us. When I'm sick, she still cooks soup for me today and drives to help me with the children.

In improvisation we are "big thanks" to our situation. We repair before we buy new. Thanks to her, I can build furniture on my own, I know how to design something with little resources. We appreciate every little gesture. Poverty has welded us together as a family, here everyone stands for each without asking questions.

I'm thankfull. I always try to give her something. Because she has been giving up children for so long, it's little things compared to theirs. Whether I go shopping with my sister or if I go shopping for my mother, just because it's always a little thank you for me.

Money does not make you happy, but carefree

My mother did not choose to live with money worries for years. But she has done the best that can be done in the situation.

It may be that money does not make happy, but it lives much more carefree, if you do not think in the evening, which bill now has to be paid more urgently or how expensive a new satchel is.

My childhood was not easy, but I was mostly happy.

Poverty in Germany does not have to be!

When I read today about child poverty in Germany, in one of the richest countries on earth, then I get angry. Because that would not have to be. Single parents are left alone. The victims are the children.

Although my story is harmless compared to others, it is my story that has deeply influenced me.

I never had to go hungry or freeze. I am aware that I was one of the happier ones.

Text by Roksana Winkler, originally published on lottesmotterleben.wordpress.com

Poverty in Germany: every fifth child affected

Germany is a rich country. Nevertheless, according to a new study by the Bertelsmann Stiftung, around 20 percent of children live in poverty for at least five years. For another ten percent, poverty is a problem, at least for a short time. According to the researchers, it is also alarming that it is hardly possible for the affected children to free themselves from this poverty - even years later. More information about the study can be found here.