sex
April 30, 2024

"Wetlands" - the excerpt

We have garnished the excerpt with quotations from Charlotte Roche. Read the full interview with Charlotte Roche here.

As long as I can remember, I have hemorrhoids. Many, many years, I thought, I should not tell anyone. Because hemorrhoids grow only with grandpa. I always thought it was very girlish. How many times I've been with the proctologist! But he recommended that I keep it off, as long as they do not cause me any pain. They did not do that. They just itched. On the other hand, I received from my proctologist dr. Fiddel a zinc ointment.

For the outer itch, push out of the tube a hazelnut-sized amount on the finger with the shortest nail and rub it on the rosette. The tube has such a sharp attachment with many holes in it, so I can introduce the anal and spray it there to quench the itch even inside. Before I had such an ointment, I scratched so hard in my sleep with one finger on and in the butt, that the next morning I had a cork cork-sized dark brown spot in my underpants. So strong was the itching, as deep as the finger in it. I say yes: very nanny.

My hemorrhoids look very special. Over the years, they have increasingly turned outward. Once around the rosette are now cloud-shaped Haut¬appen, which look like the tentacles of a sea anemone. Dr. Fiddel calls this cauliflower. He says that if I want to get that away, it would be a purely aesthetic intervention. He only does that when it really bothers people. Good reasons would be if my lover does not like it or I get oppressed because of my cauliflower during sex. I would never admit that.

If somebody loves me or is just horny for me, then such a cauliflower should not matter. In addition, I have many years, from fifteen to today, at eighteen, despite a proliferating cauliflower very successful anal intercourse. Very successful for me: come, although the tail is only in my ass and nothing else is touched. Yes, I'm proud of that.

Incidentally, I test the best, if it means a serious with me: I challenge him in one of the first sex to my favorite position: I in Doggystellung, so on all fours, face down, he coming from behind tongue in the pussy , Nose in the ass, because you have to work patiently, because the hole is indeed covered by the vegetables. The position is called "with-the-face-stuffed". Has not complained yet.

If you have something like this on an organ that is important for sex (is the butt ever an organ?), You have to practice in relaxation. This in turn helps with falling and loosening for, for example, anal intercourse. Since my ass is obviously part of the sex, he is also subject to this modern Rasurzwang like my pussy, my legs, my armpits, the upper lip area, both big toes and the back of my feet too. The upper lip is of course not shaved, but plucked, because we have all learned that you grow an otherwise thicker, mustache. As a girl, this is to be prevented. I used to be very happy unshaven, but then I started with the nonsense and can not stop now.

Back to ass-shaving. In contrast to other people, I know exactly what my butt hole looks like. I look at it daily in our bathroom. Stand with the butt to the mirror, with both hands firmly pull apart the ass cheeks, keep legs straight, with his head almost on the floor and through the legs to look backwards. In the same way, I also perform an ass-sharpening. Of course I always have to let go of a cheek to shave. The wet razor is placed on the cauliflower and then shots boldly and firmly from the inside out. Quiet even to the middle of the cheek, sometimes lost even a hair there.

Because I'm very much against shaving, I always do that way too fast and too hard. Exactly this I have this anal fissure inflicted, because of which I am now in the hospital. Everything the Ladyshaven blame. Feel like Venus. Be a goddess! Maybe not everyone knows what an anal fissure is. This is a hair-fine crack or cut in the rosette skin. And if this small, open spot also ignites, which is unfortunately very likely down there, then it hurts like hell. Like me now. The Poloch is always in motion. When you talk, laugh, cough, walk, sleep, and above all, when you sit on the toilet. I only know that since it hurts.

The swollen hemorrhoids are now pressing hard against my shaving injury, causing the fissure to tear on and causing me the biggest pain I've ever had. With distance.Immediately afterwards in second place comes the pain I had when my father slipped the boot lid of our car along the whole spine - ratatatatat - at full throttle. And my third worst pain was when I pulled out my nipple piercing when pulling off the sweater. Which is why my right nipple looks like a snake tongue now. Back to my butt. I dragged myself from the school to the hospital in great pain and showed my crack to every Dolctor I wanted. I immediately got a bed in the proctology department, or do you say inside department? Inside sounds better than saying so special ass department. You do not want others to be jealous. Maybe you generalize that with inside. I'll ask later, when the pain is gone. Anyway, now I'm not allowed to move anymore and lie around here in embryo position. With hochgeschobe¬nem skirt and down underpants, ass to the door. So anyone who comes in knows immediately what's up. It has to look very inflamed. Everyone who comes in says, "Oh."

And talk about pus and a bulging wound water bubble hanging out of the butt hole. I imagine the bladder looks like the skin of the neck of these tropical birds when they pump in a lot of air to ruffle. A glossy red-blue sack. The next proctologist who comes in says, "Hello, Professor Dr. Notz my name."

And then rammed me something in the asshole. The pain bores the spine up to the forehead. I almost lose consciousness. After a few seconds of pain, I have a bursting, wet feeling and shouting, "Ow, warn, please, what was that, damn it?" And he: "My thumb, Excuse me, with the big bubble in front of it, I could not see anything." What a way to introduce yourself! "And what do you see now?" "We have to operate immediately, have eaten something this morning?" "How, in pain?" "Okay, then general anesthesia. Better with the result."