Attention: These thoughts poison every relationship

Where is my love? Almost every person in a relationship is asking this question from time to time. To find out what might weigh on the partnership, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein in Psychology Today recommends analyzing his own thoughts about the partner.

Do you also know these "poisonous" thoughts? At the following signs the alarm bells should be heard:

1. Black or white

Does your partner in your thoughts always do EVERYTHING wrong or EVERYTHING right? Is there any in between?

2. Disasters and exaggerations

The things that the partner does wrong, you judge quickly as a disaster? Even with trifles, for example in the process in the city?

3. The "must-have-you-know" trap

Are you quickly insulted because your partner does not realize what's going on in you? Also, if you do not say it explicitly?

4. The "you-are-so" label

Do you often think about your partner that he is, for example, "uninterested," "mean," or "unreliable," but seldom is he "humorous," "resourceful," or "attentive?" Do the negative descriptions outweigh the positive ones?

5. The "you're guilty" charge

With this thought you make the partner responsible for the things that you are quarreling in your life. "It's your fault I can not work anymore." or "Because of you, I can not do XY anymore."

6. The overreaction

Do you catch unrealistic thoughts like "He's too late, that's because he's just going to be a stranger"?

7. The wrong head cinema

Here you suspect bad, especially if the partner is actually good at one. "He's just nice to me, because he wants to go out with his boys over the weekend."

8. The disillusion trap

Those who had too high expectations at the beginning of a relationship can later be disappointed. Then thoughts like: "It was clear, he lives only for his job."