6 times better sex: These tips are worth gold!
1. Leave (sometimes) the orgasm!
Unfortunately, sex is a problem in many relationships. Are you also frustrated because your partner wants too often / too little? You can not come? The sex is always the same? You are too tired for that?
The cause behind it is often the same: pressure. It does not matter if we point our finger at society, porn consumption or ourselves. A "must-have-but-be" kills the passion. Who says that sex is always an orgasm, that sex must be sweaty and exciting? It's all about being close to each other - physically and emotionally.
But because the physical evaporates in some relationships with the years, writes the bestselling author Eva-Maria Zurhorst ("Love yourself and it does not matter who you marry") in her book Soul Sex about us that the pressure of success from the Take sex and approach us again without pressure. Through daily touches that say only one thing: you are important to me.
2. Recognize the patterns behind the problems!
Sex is about intimacy, says the Berlin-based sex psychologist Christoph J. Ahlers. But unfortunately there are many misunderstandings before that: "If a man complains of a 'seed jam' or 'big eggs', then he himself does not realize what he really wants, namely recognition, which is established for him by his wife with him He does not know that her husband actually wants to hug her, she feels 'abused' because she does not see that she's tired and tattered. "
His solution: talk. Real talking. About your own wishes, needs and fears, even if that can hurt. Because only then can something change. Not through sex tips that just scratch the surface.
3. Hug you!
A good exercise that shows how intimate the relationship is is the "tantric hug". How it works is explained by the sex therapist Susanna-Sitari Rescio:
"Both partners stand upright and hug each other, not just 15 seconds, but several minutes, not caressing or talking, just feeling, how the partner stands - is he tense, bent, reclined or relaxed? Do you lean back or do you support yourself? Anyone doing this exercise daily will create new neuronal pathways in the brain and thereby change the relationship. "
4. Play with proximity and distance!
A relationship does not endure either permanent closeness or permanent distance. For the partner to remain exciting for us (and vice versa, of course), we need the game between the two poles. But it does not help to make this cool and calculating. After all, it is a "game" and not a "game". Rather, it is good to consciously take time for the relationship, but also for yourself.
5. Meditate!
Do not worry, now comes the suggestion to think about sex during meditation. On the contrary, we learn to let go of meditation thoughts and value-free to look at our lives. It probably will not work right away, but this art takes us a little closer to our core. To what is left when reason is shut off. Who am I? And who is my counterpart? And to experience that, is also enormously important during sex.
6. Look in the mirror!
Honestly, do you know what your vagina looks like? Could you draw her blind? This practice makes sex therapist Susanna-Sitari Rescio regularly in her practice. In her experience, many women do not know their own gender, nor do they know how female arousal builds up. She encourages her patients to first explore themselves in order to demand exactly what they want during sex. And if you do not know what your vagina looks like, get a hand mirror out and just look.
