The truth is: in thought we are all unfaithful
My husband is wonderful, honest, I did a great job. He is also tolerant. Nevertheless, he should not read the following text, because among other things, it is about my darkest, dirtiest secrets.
Yes, yes, I know, you should not close to others, but in this case, I do anyway. Because I am convinced that we are all unfaithful to our partners. In thought. By the way, I do not think that's a bad thing either.
Sometimes my ex-boyfriend visits me
Sometimes ? and that has nothing to do with me wanting that? my ex-boyfriend visits me. Often at night. Mostly I sleep then already. He does not come through the front door, he's just in my head. He has not played a role in my real life for decades, but he seems to have a place in my subconscious. I did not choose that, he's just there. And since I was already in bed with him, my brain seems to have stored something that I did not want to save at all. I must emphasize here that the guy was impossible, I am glad that I am rid of him. But apparently he did something pretty well. And that's why he shows up now and then. I do not need to explain that we do not talk about our children and our tax return. It's mostly about a lot of bare skin, wild desire and something blurry that I can not write here without getting a very, very red head.
I'm practically a serial cheater
It is not an isolated case, I am practically a serial cheater. I confess: A few months ago, I watched a movie with Keanu Reeves and imagined he was my secret lover, with whom I do all the sexy stuff that I would never dare in reality.
Also, recently a very young, insanely attractive man in a bar talked to me. The whole thing was absolutely chaste and took place without any contact. Still on my way home, I found myself wondering how that very handsome, tall man was kissing. I wondered how he looked completely naked and what I would do to him if I were not married and ten years younger. Just for the record: I was a bit ashamed of it right away. Apart from the fact that I would never want to undress in front of this youth.
Thoughts are not betrayals
And I wondered why I felt so bad because of that? I had not done anything. Tyrion Lannister had not recently said in Game of Thrones: "Thoughts are not a betrayal!" ?! Not that he's the most important moral authority in my life, but he's often right.
Still, I had to talk to someone about it. So I asked my friend Michi. "I often think of Björn from the office in an inappropriate way, but do not tell Stefan about it," she replied only to my guilty stammering. Then she laughed and asked with wide eyes: "Do you think, Thomas always thinks only of you? In our thoughts we all go strangers, I am quite sure".
Of course, I do not think my husband thinks of sex only in relation to me. I'm just convinced that we can all have dirty thoughts on others. But I really do not want to know exactly what and to whom my love is thinking. That's none of my business, I think.
There used to be a movie with the pretty name "What's the use of love in thought?" wore. However, it was about romantic motives, not lower bodily instincts. So I asked myself, "What's the use of sex in thought?" Some probably. For example, it gives all people who have been in a relationship for 20 years the feeling that they have not missed anything (which, by the way, also applies to all bad sexual memories of other men, which are even better). It provides for pleasure in relationships in which there might otherwise be none. Yes, I believe that the side jumps in the head can be real relationship rescuers and great inspirations.
Secrets make a relationship more exciting
Quite apart from that, I believe that little secrets make a relationship more exciting. You can never know everything about the other one. You do not have to. How dull it would be otherwise. In addition, thoughts are free. Or?
In fact, nothing happens when we dream a bit to the left and right of your own bed edge. You do not necessarily have to tie the partner on the nose. As long as you do not forget it and, above all, find it better than the others, it does not hurt anyone.
By the way, after my conversation with Michi I went home, kissed my husband? and we did something that I could soon think of when he was not there. And I did not lose a thought to Keanu Reeves.
