7 traps that free-time psychologists can tap into
As a woman, you do not have to have studied psychology to have an opinion on sensitive topics. And so in friend-rounds, the depths and heights of life are thoroughly analyzed - gladly with the right advice that has been picked up somewhere. That's what women need.
But as nice as it is to stand by the side of others. Not every conversation is good too. For the advice that we give to others so vehemently often refers to weaknesses that we ourselves have to deal with. We project them onto others.
Hobby psychologists should therefore always be aware that they are not neutral - and have not studied psychology.
So you do not have to do without the many conversations with friends, here are our tips:
1. One can also be wrong
The naturalist Isaac Newton once said: "I can calculate the movements of the celestial bodies, but not the madness of the people." That is to say, every person is different and every person has different problems. That's why flat-rate tips can not help everyone. This must not be forgotten.
2. Speak from the first-person perspective
Since hobby psychologists can never, as I said, empathize with one hundred percent of others' emotions, their advice should be clearly formulated from the first-person perspective. This gives the other the opportunity to weigh himself what he wants to accept or not. Everything else goes in the direction of manipulation. So always start like this: "I believe / think / feel the problem so ..."
3. Beware of stigmatization
A friend is crying out and the other one says, "Oh, that sounds like you have depression." One should be careful about such terms. Firstly, a diagnosis can only be made by a specialist and, secondly, this evaluates the other person at the moment because certain words such as "depression" are negatively mated today. Those who are seriously concerned should encourage others to seek the interview with a doctor. But do not drive the mood even further into the cellar.
4. Who gives advice, must also be able to accept advice
The only problems are the others? Probably not. Anyone who likes to analyze others across the board must be able to accept them, even if they are being scrutinized.
5. Do not put yourself above the other
Nobody should give advice from above. It does not make others trust you. Moreover, it is a sign of respect to meet the interlocutor at eye level.
6. Do not judge too fast
No therapist would listen to his patients' problems and would already interrupt after three sentences. Although they are likely to hear similar problems very often. You should not forget that in your private life. It takes time and patience to truly understand another person.
7. Let the other speak
Often friends and / or partners need no advice. They just want to be able to tell their frustration. And we should give them that chance, too. Incidentally, particularly interesting sentences often arise, if one can stand to be silent in "gaps". If the caller pauses, we do not interrupt him. After that, the other person often opens his heart because he has had time to collect his thoughts.