The new maintenance law: what it means for women
"I'm from Nigeria, my ex-husband is a journalist, he also comes from Nigeria and works here in Germany." "When we got married, he was 45 years old, I was 16. It was not a love marriage, I was with him 24 years ago He said that he was earning enough, that I should stay home, I was quite isolated here, he did not want me to invite someone or visit other people. I lived in a cage, today I believe that my husband was so opposed to contacts at that time because he was afraid I would learn about his affairs.
I could not stand the loneliness in Germany for long, and after six months I went back to my parents in Nigeria. My husband came to pick me up. He had to promise my father that I would study in Germany. My father is a diplomat, good education is important to him. He could not understand why my husband did not allow me to go to university. Shortly after my return, I started teaching development workers in my language. I earned my own money, that was good. The salary was, however, on the account of my husband, of whom he had not even given me the number. I really thought in the beginning, he means well with me. I believed him, he was also much older and knew the country better.
My job was childcare 24 hours a day
But when we got our first child, I slowly saw his true face: After the birth, I wanted to continue working, but he deliberately prevented that. He made sure that my teaching job at the institute was given to someone else, he had good contacts there. He wanted me to take care of the child, not to go to the daycare.
Meanwhile we have four children. I was mostly alone with them at home. My husband always said he has no time, he has to work. He often came home late at night and left at 6 in the morning. He became less and less interested in us. My job was to look after the children 24 hours a day. That went on like that for many years. It hurt me the most when our son graduated four years ago. For all children, father and mother had come to the graduation ceremony. Not with my son. An acquaintance asked him, 'Where is your father?'. 'He has to work,' he replied. I saw how ashamed and sad he was. That made me angry. Because of the kids, I stayed with him for a long time, I always thought I could do it.
When my son had blood poisoning and my husband refused to pay the doctor, it was enough for me. We were privately insured. The doctor did not want to continue to treat my son because he did not receive any more money. The insurance consultant came to me and said, 'Your husband deserves well, why does not he pay?' I was embarrassed. I sold a bangle and paid the bill. That was too much. My own children said it would not work and forced me to go to the lawyer and file a divorce.
Now we live from Hartz IV
The lawyer advised me to apply to the employment office for assistance. It took me six months to finally get Hartz IV and find an apartment to move in with my children. That was two years ago. After our excerpt, I have sued my husband for maintenance. He filed an appeal, although he earned about 7000 euros gross a month. I would have to get for me and the children 2600 euros maintenance, the lawyer has calculated. I have not seen anything of that until today. Now his salary is seized. The children and I still live on the state. My two sons and I get 1008 euros a month. My daughter is in boarding school in England, the other one is currently living in Nigeria, with my father. My father also pays the boarding fees. When I have no more money, I call my parents in Nigeria. Then they help me with 50 euros or so.
I kept trying to find work during my marriage. Four years ago, I wanted to qualify as a qualified office worker at the Volkshochschule. My husband intercepted the course confirmation from the adult education center. I called the folk high school, wondering why I did not get the letter. I'm going to class, even though my husband has been scolding all the time. He even hid my car key to prevent me from going there. Sometimes I was so exhausted that I cried all the time. But I have completed the training. After that, I certainly wrote 200 applications and did not get a job. "
Read on the next page what the new maintenance right for Fatima means.
That's what the expert says
What consequences the new maintenance law, which will apply from 2008, for Fatima, explains Dorothée Linden of the law firm Linden & Mosel:
"Fatima's marriage has been governed by rigid rules imposed unilaterally by her husband, who, despite her educational background and the urge to be professionally on her own, failed to achieve her goals.
The couple have lived together for 25 years and have been married for 24 years. The youngest son turns nine. In this situation, Fatima would have been safe without any restrictions until the reform of the maintenance law, a lifelong maintenance claim.
After the reform is to differentiate: Fatima does not have a child under the age of three. Therefore, the principle applies: Each spouse is responsible for its own maintenance. This is the so-called principle of personal responsibility, which is emphasized in the new law. The reason: husbands should not be so financially restricted after a divorce by alimony payments to the first family that there is no room for the creation of a new family.
You have to look for a mini-job in any case
But even the new law provides exceptions: If the man works abroad and the wife cares for the children and the household and even no further employment to pursue or may even, then this life plan also continues beyond a separation. Especially if it is also a long-term marriage. This is certainly the case with the 24 years of Fatima marriage.
She will get support - but not guaranteed forever and not in full. Payments may be reduced in time or in stages. And: A mini-job is already expected her. It does not matter whether she has actually found a job or not, you will be deducted in any case, 400 euros per month as a separate merit from maintenance.
It is also conceivable that she will soon be asked to take part in a half-time job. The new law has been very vague in the exemptions from the ex-wife's "ownership". Thus, over time, the courts will have to work out how to understand these concepts of marriage-related disadvantages, post-marital solidarity, and the lengthy marriages of marriage. "
