The 5 craziest TV moments of 2017 that have burned into my brain!

The Bachelorette and her testosterone entourage provided a mental meltdown

I admit that the Bachelorette was my personal favorite of 2017 (and I really mean it completely unironisch!). Because I fell in love with shock. In a TV format, which is teeming with (not even? Celebrities?) Flitzpiepen.

Made possible by a bachelorette, who wanted to be under the guise of wanting to find the great love (Höhö!), Once overhauled, and 20 Proverbs, which apparently not only all were cloned (as a would-be womanizer you wear today three days beard, Gel-great and XXL-biceps), but said Bachelorette also drooling drooling behind.

Incidentally, my favorite saying fell already in episode one. When candidate Marko stated that he is focused on women who look like a model but have the character "of a fat man", it was right around me. So this guy knows in terms of dream women really know.

But that was Marko's golden hour also over again (which was so boring that even Jessica Paszka was sometime intellectually under-challenged!). His colleagues have kept the mental meltdown going. There were, for example, full-time Hesse and hobby-philosopher Domenico ("You count here, you pull it, you're strong, I'm really lucky to have met you."), The psychopathic master Propper aka Niklas (? * k here every day my head for the woman, ey! Everyone has to cope with his head, what goes on in my head, ey !?) and John, who has apparently been sniffing at his bleaching too long (The pictures of his wet tongue games haunt me today. NO JOKE!).

Oh, and David, the Eskimo cowboy. He won the season, but then the Jessi got rid of quickly and sits on January 19th in the jungle camp 2018. Everything done right, buddy!

Naked Attraction went below the belt (in the true sense ...)

Naaa, did you forget about this gem of TV entertainment? Etch, then here comes the memory. But admittedly,? Naked Atrraction? was not for the faint of heart. Or put another way: 'Adam looking for Eva' was a shit against it.

But from the beginning: In the show, of course, it was all about the one thing: love! (What do you think, you piglets !?) And what can the character of a human already say about how the person is ticking? Pfft! That's why the nudist dating show on RTL 2 focuses on the really important attributes? the outer. And the best directly splinter Faserackig.

And this is how it looked: in colorful boxes stood neatly lined up six singles and were piece by piece? from the bottom up - revealed. Quite relish was now allowed to check out another single, which boxing slut made him particularly pointed. We learned that single-man Rob is on partially shaved vaginas and labia majora (namely, increase the woman's sense of pleasure? All clear!) And Jenny preferably with symmetrical penises that tremble plays (I swear in everything that a genitalia has, that I did NOT think so !!!).

Well, in life as in love - sometimes you have to set priorities. And what is the one character, the next is just the penis diameter! In any case, I'm planning a Disney marathon for the next 24 hours, hoping to get those pictures back into the depths of my brain in no time.

Nathalie Volk & Frank Otto love horny turtles

I love her. Seriously! Nathalie Volk and Frank Otto made my year 2017 a little better. Why? For that I have to make something out.

The model and the millionaire were the new "stars" of the emigrant documentary 'Goodbye Germany' and the new standard in terms of foreign shame? Congratulations!

It all started with a trip to the Seychelles. To save the world, of course. "This is not a luxury vacation." (Of course not ...). But why renounce said luxury? We do not want to exaggerate it! That could not be expected of the good Nathalie Volk. It's enough that Frank Otto is an old cracker. "I'll say it tough: I've got my life ahead of me, Frank has his own behind him."

What luck for the mail order heir that age is just a number and Nathalie is only interested in the inner values of a human being. She then proved this directly with the following example (and much later cited by me): "He gave me earrings in one day for 85,000 euros, just like that, my dream man." Hach, that must be love!

Oh, and for those who may have forgotten it: Frank Otto and Nathalie Volk are not just about the subject of earrings.According to the 60-year-old, the two have a lot of fun between the sheets. Or in the sex shop. Anyway, they leave? wherever they are then? turn on the lights and work happily to increase the decibel number. Incidentally, the model sounds like a horny turtle. (His words, not mine!) Well, how good that we talked about it again, right?

Adam was looking for Eve - and I was looking for the number of my therapist

Anyone who was scared of the Bachelorette, RTL could put on a serious program for the rest of the year (as if? Hahaha!), Who was thanked? Adam looking for Eva? quickly taught a better.

Anyway, I think it's good: lots of discarded and splinter-bristled Z-celebs, whose IQ is far below that of a can of mushrooms, were sent to a deserted island (though ... now I'm really doing the champignons wrong!) , Yes, again only because they wanted to find the great love? bla bla bla!

(If you do not know the format, let me tell you: No, the weird people have meanwhile returned to our civilization, not even the lonely island wanted to keep them.)

Patricia Blanco, who wanted to showcase the work of her Beauty Doc, was one of the most embarrassing. She did not let that much happen (no, of course not.) Only the stomach, the thighs, the nose, some botox ... So almost everything is still real.

Then there's Martin Kesici (No comment on that! The naked? Angel of Berlin? -Wroclawer falls into the same category as? Naked Attraction?), Melody Haase, the walking designer vagina, and Bastian Yotta, the front runner louder "you know" his "you know" does not see.

This is the "Adam seeks Eve" story already told to end. It was funny anyway. And not least because of the Pu-Mussel man. Whenever there is something important? on the island, the guy in jungle swimsuit and wreath came grafting on a raft and blew into a shell to elicit any sad cries.

Germany? S Next Top Model: The "Meeedchen" were not the most embarrassing this time

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(2 of 4) Thank you @thomashayo and @ michael.michalsky ... for a special moment in time that I will never forget ... dancing with you guys on that stage. #friendship #trust #fun #scared #gntm

A post shared by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on Jun 9, 2017 at 1:34 pm PDT

Around 2.5 million people have seen the 'Germany's Next Topmodel' finale 2017? and probably just as many are lost in shame in the ground when Heidi Klum suddenly entered the stage in the glittering body and performed something like a little dance. Flanked by her two lapdogs, alias Thomas and Michael, the model pipped for almost five minutes to 'There's No Business Like Show Business' and 'Vogue' across the dance floor. I tell you: I've never been so desperate with me, whether I should press the off button or not.

Not only that Heidi in this really? REALLY! ? not seated glittering body, the fishnet stockings and high heels looked like a parody of themselves. Added to this was their squeaky voice that sounds to my ears to this day and is about to become a full-blown tinnitus.

I can not say much about Thomas Hayo and Michael Michalsky. They are the real winners of this not really memorable evening. Because only thanks to Heidi Klum, who once again tried by all means to override her midlife crisis, no one paid attention to the two clowns. You also have to be lucky in life.

It can only get better next year. Or not!

Hach, reminiscing that revelry was fun, right? So, let's start with the year 2018. After all, bachelors and bachelorettes, Adams and Eve's and jungle camps and love islands are waiting for us again.

And when the going gets tough, Heidi unpacks her glittering body again and Nathalie Volk squeaks the turtles.

I could live well with that. After all, my pain and Fremdschäm border has laid a significant decline last year.

And what should that have been good for, if I can not pull over it? After all, I do not want to be to blame if RTL suddenly run out of trash-noses. (Yeah, I've noticed my slight masochistic mood too, but what am I supposed to do, it's just too good ...)