"Sorry, Mom, you're annoying!" ? Why we always remain the daughters of our mothers
I was a terrible teenager, my parents did not have it easy with me. Not only did I start early with alcohol, cigarettes and parties, I also had a period when I developed a predilection for terrible hair colors and strange types. At that time, I did not understand why that bothered my parents.I found her stuffy and authoritarian. Of course I loved her anyway. But that's probably how most teenagers feel.
After I was about 16 or 17, our relationship relaxed significantly. Somehow I realized then at least that they only meant it well with me. From then on, we argued less. When I moved out at 19, we reached a new dimension of good relationship. Even so, my mother still gets on my nerves like no other person. That's certainly because I'm like her. But most of all, it's because she's my mother, I'm sure. It upsets me, for example, when she says, "You look so pale. Are you sleeping enough too?" Then I react slightly aggressive every time. "I have two small children, of course I do not sleep enough," I answer irritably.
I also always moan loudly and turn my eyes when she asks me for 100,000 consecutive times if I really do not work too much (I do not work very much). Or if she checks again, if the children actually can not have four ice creams in a row (I have a big sugar tolerance, but two ice creams just have to do). Or if she complains for hours and a lot about the weather, even though that does not help at all (she has a tendency to find the problem rather than the solution). These are banalities that upset me. Often also statements or qualities in which I recognize myself. Yes, they are probably the worst.It is petty of me that I can not be much more generous with her, but regularly fall into my teenage tone when I talk to her, I know all that, but I can not get out of this role.
Mothers are only human
Whenever I'm too strict with my mother again, I feel sorry afterwards. Then I write her a message about whatsapp after visiting her, that it was nice to her and thank me, because she has gone to so much trouble. She always answers the same? that she loves us all and that we should come back soon. Of course that was not always the case. In the past, she used to be quite toxic, she was never very patient, she seldom had time to play with us properly. One time she cut our hair very short, because we made such a drama when washing the long manes that she had her mouth full. My mother was cool, not perfect, but she did her best, I know that.
So much so that I never quite get out of my daughter role. Because one more thing I know from my own experience: mothers are only human. I often think of mine when I bawl at my daughters for making nonsense when I let them watch TV, so I can hang up my laundry for ten minutes, if I do not have the patience to go to the nursery for the tenth time one of the girls does not want to sleep yet. She had all that with us.
But above all, I think of my mother, when one of my children once again completely misbehaved or out of tune and remorsefully "Sorry, Mama!" says. That's how my mother sometimes feels when I send her a Whatsapp message. Fortunately, I now know that you do not love your children any less, because they freak out or complain or annoyed. That's reassuring.
I once read that the best compliment you can give your mother is, "You are the best mother you could be." I agree. And now I have to stop, because I have to call my mother again ...
