How to finally get things done
"I am a psychoanalyst, and psychoanalysis works like the soul, slowly, to end things conciliatory and to really close them for themselves, that is, for years, some processes." For a good ending, I have to make an honest assessment: "What was good What not, what did I learn, and what is now part of my life ??
You should work out the positive. The man who is offended by the woman because she has left him should ask, "What have these years meant to her? Am I loved, did I love? What have I experienced beautiful, how have the years changed with her? But also the negative things have to be mentioned: "What did she show me, what did I imagine? If somebody tells me that it's just something negative, I do not think so. Then it takes more effort to remember good things. You can then leaf through photo albums, read old letters, you have to bring everything out of a heap of rubble. It is about appreciating what has been lived with a person or even in a job.
If you leave a job or sell your house, you also have to finish with things. Anyway, one should be able to say afterwards: "That was good, that belongs to me, that is now my further capital and with it I can live on." If this recognition succeeds, you can let it go relatively well. Of course, everything that happens involuntarily is difficult. To be quit, to sell the house for financial reasons, be terminated.
Here you have first through anger and disappointment, and in my experience that is not without therapeutic support. But that does not have to be five years on the couch. But this disappointment has to be processed, because if it is very big, it often has to do with things from the past. Then cumulate earlier experiences? and they have to be cleared out and understood. And there is always a memory of the disappointment? or quietly afraid, for example, to get involved again with a human being.
What helps is humility
But there are many painful experiences in life. You have to rub your eyes. Very often sadness is announced. Until you come from anger to the understanding that life is different than you had imagined. At the end you should be able to say: "Okay, it is like that now. This is my life and I do not want to fight with him forever.? What helps is a certain humility, a conciliatory attitude of life that makes you free inside: "Yes, I do what I can, and what I can not or what does not come true, I have to accept."
Those who look gratefully at their lives find it easier to conclude. That does not mean you just say to yourself, "I did not do that, and that does not matter." That would be a trivialization. But sometimes people are too caught up in negative feelings and fatalism. Many are afraid of what comes when they have finished with everything. You ask yourself: Who am I then? Resistance and negative feelings also stop you, they structure you.
Therefore, as spiritual directions emphasize, one can practice non-values. Do not say, "This is evil or negative." But:? That happened to me now, that failed? ? without putting it in a drawer. You have to learn and practice that. Non-value per se should be a value. Categorizing and classifying everything immediately makes perception so close. We are all imperfect, we all make mistakes. We all have to renounce and mourn? all the way to dying.?
