Afraid of sex? 7 tips for more self-confidence
Do you know that? A new man is here - they make an appointment, go out, smooch. And then? Hmm, actually you are looking forward to the first sex. The last time would not have been so long ago ...
But do not be afraid of the first sex after a long time - we have written down seven of your biggest worries and give tips on how to easily get rid of your fears.
For this we have got support from the PARSHIP single coach and psychologist Markus Ernst.
1. I like him very much. But I do not remember what it feels like to be so close to a man.
You wish the first time would be behind you? Do not worry about it. Having a break before having sex with a new guy is normal. At least for those who really like you.
PARSHIP psychologist Markus Ernst advises you to calm things down: "In order to experience closeness physically or emotionally, there must be a degree of trust in one's counterpart.
The time to build that trust should be mutual. How the partner handles it can be a first test of the relationship. But it is not a fault if you can only build close in smaller steps? It is important to be authentic and to remain true to oneself. "
2. I have not gotten any better since the last sex.
The signs of the times do not stop in front of your body? And you finally can not hide it during sex. Markus Ernst sees this calmly: "Here is usually the biggest difference between self-perception and foreign perception: Almost always sees the environment or the partner completely different, as you see yourself.
Strengthen your self-esteem by doing something for yourself. If you are satisfied with yourself, you usually look attractive to others as well. "
3. I am terribly afraid that I am doing something wrong
Oh, how is that possible? The thing with the sex. Markus Ernst says: "Do not worry, there is no right or wrong sex, so you can not learn to have sex." Despite the many environmental issues, it's important to listen to yourself: what do I want, what I'm fine, what I enjoy, what makes the partner fun ...
Stay authentic and honest. Everything else follows as if by itself. "Promise.
4. And what if he is bored? Then I'm definitely disappointed.
Is there really just one way you can make a man happy? Markus Ernst doubts this: "Everyone has certain ideas about what the future partner should be Check your claims: Why does he have to have this or that property? Sometimes exaggerated ideas also serve the purpose of ultimately not having to commit or the failure own high standards. "
5. Is not it better for me to drink a little courage?
Looser and more self-confident through alcohol - this could backfire:
"The better way is usually to put pressure on yourself to be more relaxed, do not try to play it all in the head before a meeting, it usually comes in a different way anyway, let the situation come and trust you Feeling."
6. Do I have to leave or stay overnight?
After sex is before sex. Often the situation afterwards is perceived as much more intimate. What am I talking about now? About politics, the bedding or the photo of his mother? And can I just get up naked and go easy in the direction of the bathroom? Markus Ernst knows these worries:
"For both the situation can be a bit strange after all, they have shared something very intimate and have to sort that out first, but that's the same for the partner, and humor can help as well, whether you stay the night or leave right here you should listen to your feeling.
7. If it's not bombastic, he'll leave me.
If that's the case, you'd better shoot the guy to the moon instead of blaming himself. Also Markus Ernst advises in this case to self-confidence. "Be aware of your value, if you have big fears: the bad experiences you bring back from past relationships can be worked up - with friends, but also with professional help."
Because you can enjoy the first sex with the new man - as the great woman you are.
