Afraid of driving? So you'll get rid of them!
I've done a lot in life: new cities, new friends, new jobs. But driving has remained a construction site. I made my driving license at the age of 18 without any problems. In the small village in the Münsterland, where I grew up, that was quasi emergency and duty. But when the big cities came, I had no money for a car at the beginning and no more courage later. It was also without. Driving a car is scary and abstract for me: it means chaos, overstraining, missing overview, accidents.
The right contact point
Now I face the fear: my new job is too far away to go by bus. About Google, I find a suitable point of contact: www.angstfrei-autofahren.de. Behind it is Alexandra Bärike. She is a driving instructor and psychologist and specializes in the counseling and therapy of people with car-related worries. It helps clients with panic attacks as well as those who just have a lack of driving routine. Three quarters of the people who come to her are women.
This kind of offer is just right for me. Because I do not want to go to a "normal" driving school and learn together with 18-year-old youngsters. I also fear that I could catch a driving instructor like my former one there. He never tired of listing my mistakes.
My "car history" under the magnifying glass
On a sunny Saturday I enter the practice of Alexandra Bärike in Hamburg. The fear accompanies me. I know that nothing can happen to a driving instructor, but it takes strength to face my fears. But Alexandra Bärike is beaming at me.
At her desk, we first analyze my "car history". I talk about my driving routine in the countryside, my lack of practice in the city, my fear of changing lanes and my fears of losing track and reacting too slowly.
I am taken seriously
When I told others about my driving fears, at the latest at this point came the standard saying: "Then you practice just a bit." But I can not just sit with my fears in the stomach in the next best car and "just practice".
Alexandra Bärike surprises me: "You have never set up a driving routine in the city, that you can not do that is natural, it is very difficult to change lanes." I feel taken seriously right away.
My fear as a circle
She paints in a circle about how my fear of driving is composed. Nearly 50 percent of the circle fills my lack of routine. Then there is my self-image. I think I'm not doing well and that prevents me from doing it. Other parts of my fear are the fact that I never had my own car, the bad experiences with my first driving instructor and my personality. Alexandra Bärike tells me that I am considerate and I care if I interfere with others.
Everything just scaredy?
Something interests me but still quite personally: the question of whether mainly "scaredy hare" come to her. People who rarely dare anything in life. Many of my clients do not seem insecure from the outside, they often have top jobs, but that also increases their claim to perfection on their own. They want to do things well or not at all It's not "good" and "bad." There are situations that drivers judge differently. "
I'm driving
And with these words it goes into the car - a driving school car with double operation. It's good. But the driving school signs still remain in the trunk. I'm supposed to experience the reality. Alexandra Bärike first explains all the basics. How do the gears work? How do I have to adjust the mirrors? What is the distance between the other cars when they appear in the rearview mirror?
When I press the clutch for the first time, my leg shakes. It starts. I drive in the city. Oh dear, how exciting. First, we drive a slight distance, it is just straight fats. One thing strikes me: handling the car is not so difficult. I control the hallways as if sleeping. Of course I have to get used to the car. And the start at the traffic lights could run smoother. But hey, I learn that too fast. And Alexandra Bärike praises me.
No panic!
After ten minutes, I look at the clock for the first time. I feel relatively relaxed. For a moment my tour through a suburb makes it even fun. As we drive back to the city center, Alexandra Bärike practices the difficult situations with me. On a two-lane road I change from one side to the other and back again and over again. She gives me very simple rules.Flashing, accelerating to increase the gap, rearview mirror, exterior mirrors and blind spot. If everything is okay, I can go over. Whether this situation is hectic or relaxed, is up to me. I determine the pace.
Everything is explained in detail
These detailed instructions we take the horror of the change of tracks. Before, it was always flat rate: "You have to stop to see if you can over." As a result, I flashed, I looked hectically in all directions and pulled over. Now I know how to look, and then safely switch to the other lane. I'm proud of myself - my driving instructor too.
Suddenly it says, "Well, you can park there, we're here." What, that's it? We drove 75 minutes. I never thought that I would forget time behind the wheel. I am going to go to the weekend.
The second hour
We meet for the second hour. It is raining and traffic is tormenting through the city. But I'm optimistic. At first we practice everything like the first time. Unlike Saturday, however, it is very stressful for me today. And that disappoints me. Alexandra Bärike explains reassuringly: "They do not fare worse today, the conditions are more difficult, the rain, the constant wiping in front of the eyes, impatient drivers and I have increased the difficulty level." That's true. Finally, today I drove over the highway and through the Elbtunnel. After that I almost looked forward to the city traffic again.
And there is one more success: I was honed three times and I did not mind. To achieve that, Alexandra Bärike gave me a simple trick: "What other drivers think about you will never be experienced unless you get out and ask, but would you do that, even if one honks: Is that really bad, does that make you a bad driver? "
Overcoming fear is a project
After this hour, she tells me to take another two hours. Not because I can not drive, but to get even more security. That makes sense to me. To overcome fear of driving one must see as a project. Therefore, my preliminary balance sheet: Ten truckloads of new courage carted, Sodom and Gomorrah put in place, burglary buried. That was great. And one thing I can promise everyone in my situation: When the fear goes, the soul has more space.
Addresses for those affected
A reliable figure, how many people suffer from the fear of driving, does not exist. When one includes partial fears, such as highway rides or parking situations, almost everyone in his circle of acquaintances knows several people affected. People with fear of driving will find help here:
Alexandra Bärike, www.angstfrei-autofahren.de One-on-one interviews and driving trainings in Munich, Cologne and Hamburg. Day training or motorway long-distance trainings can also be booked nationwide.
Driving School "Let's do it", Berlin, www.schaffenwir.de Anti-stress courses, individual advice and accompanying driving lessons
Car club for fear women, Magdeburg. 0391-401 30 97, here volunteer "driving companions" trainings for women who have not ridden for a long time and feel insecure on the road.
Recommended reading: Karl Müller, driving a car without fear. The success program for relaxed driving, Verlag Hans Huber, 2008.
