Tips for single mothers on dating

"I am no longer solely responsible for myself!" Many single mothers in the back of their minds are looking for a new partner.

But do not worry, advises the Parship single coach and graduate psychologist Markus Ernst. He reveals his strategies for dating. (Display)

Should I focus as a single mother on men who also have children?

Markus Ernst: Surveys show that the vast majority of single men can well imagine a new relationship with a single woman with a child. So confidently deal with the situation. And give yourself and the other time - respect the needs of the new partner. Then it does not matter if the other one already has children or not.

I have very little time, which I have to divide well. How can I find the right person as soon as possible?

Markus Ernst: Singles with children usually have a structured daily schedule in order to be able to do justice to the diverse tasks - so it is often difficult to leave spontaneously in the evening. But how about online dating for you? So you are flexible and can first contact from home.

How detailed should I talk about my child at the first dates?

Markus Ernst: Of course, your child plays an important role in finding a partner. Especially at the beginning, it is extremely important to deprive the other person that only a new dad or provider is being sought. Incidentally, this is the main fear of interrogated single men in relation to the partnership with a single mom. Tell about your child, but be sure to leave enough room for yourself and him. The more intimate and intense the relationship becomes, the more space can be devoted to all topics related to your child.

When should I involve my child? For example, bring it to meetings?

Markus Ernst: Here, a lot of sensitivity and patience is necessary. Often, for children, the previous separation from the biological father is incomprehensible and not yet processed. I would only involve your child if you feel the new relationship is stable. First meetings between your child and the new partner should not take place at home, but in a casual, light atmosphere. This could be, for example, a shared afternoon at the zoo or at the playground. For the new partner too, such an environment is better suited to gradually building a relationship with your child.

And if he does not like my child, should I give him time to get used to it?

Markus Ernst: Everyone needs time. I advise you to respect the fears and fears that arise. Of course, you should also understand if the new partner can not immediately handle everything with ease. In the first place, it stands alone opposite an existing, closed system. Often behind a rejection of the children by the new partner is rather the fear that the new partner could set their priorities to his detriment. A clarifying and open conversation? maybe with help from outside? can lead to a solution here. If, despite all efforts, nothing changes in the relationship between the new partner and the children, a long-term and for all happy relationship can not arise.

How do I teach my child that there is a new man?

Markus Ernst: A new partner is often perceived by children as an "intruder" and as a competitor for the attention of the mother. That is why it is so important to take care of this child and build trust in the new partner in many small steps. The inclusion of the children should take place only if the new partnership has a certain stability.

Be open with your children and signal how important this new relationship will be for your own happiness. And a happy mum wishes every child. In this breath, also take care to your children that the new father does not matter to their biological father. Clear regulations and structures are extremely important for children at this time.

Single Mom? 10 Dating Advice MUSTS (April 2024).