sex
April 26, 2024

Orgasm problems? no reason to despair

Let's get rid of the prelude and get straight to the point: An orgasm disorder is stressful and frustrating for those affected. Not only that they have less of sex. Many cause anorgasmia Uncertainties, self-doubt and a sense of isolation, Because while everyone else is always celebrating sex as the most beautiful trivial thing in the world, for him it is often just nice, if not just okay? or in the worst case even uncomfortable. It's even proven scientifically: Orgasms are good for our self-worth and promote the acceptance of body and sexuality.

Orgasm problems? a typical woman thing

But the truth is just that: Orgasm disorders are very common, especially in women, According to a study conducted by the Chapman University in California, with more than 50,000 respondents, only 65 percent of (heterosexual) women regularly reach their climax? called, every third person has an orgasm disorder, By comparison, only 5 percent of all men (every twentieth) have orgasm problems. Interesting: Of the gay women surveyed, an astonishing 86 percent indicated that they usually peak during sexual intercourse. This alone shows that anorgasmia has nothing to do with the female body or the female sexuality itself.

No natural law

The fact that men's orgasm is higher in men than in women is a widespread assumption, but one that belongs to the category of unproven sexual myths, because basically nothing speaks for their accuracy. Admittedly, in comparison to the male orgasm, the sexual stimulation of women acts like a science in itself. While he often (at least felt) after a bit of clean-out and a little touch already comes to the ejaculation, for them and their vagina usually have to vote equal to a complex overall package of coitus.

But: The only body organ is theClitoris only for pleasure there and with about 8,000 nerve cells even twice as sensitive and well equipped for sexual arousal as the penis, This in turn is good news, because it means that our orgasm disorders can be solved almost always (unless there is a medical problem). Usually we have to know the causes first.

Reasons for orgasm problems

And there's the next good news: An orgasm problem does not automatically mean that he is the wrong person or that we ask ourselves "Should I break up?" have to deal with. Even if our ex sexually lit a firework in bed each time and we do not even get warm with our new partner, is not that a good reason to finish the current chapter and reopen the finished one? after all, we did not put the four stages of separation behind us for nothing.

Many causes of orgasm disorders actually have little to do with the relationship or partner? even if, in some cases, we need his help to get rid of them. Here are the four most common reasons for orgasm problems.

1. Not enough information

Do not worry, this does not mean that we should roll over books or acquire knowledge about the female reproductive organs. On the contrary, too much theory and brooding can increase our problems. What is often missing in an orgasm disorder, is practical knowledge, Means: We need more training!

Masturbation is normal for most men, some even do it several times a day. They begin as boys in puberty and develop a very close, intimate and loving relationship to their best piece. By contrast, masturbation is by no means so well established and taken for granted among girls and women, That's why many do not even know what makes them hot and how they get to sexual climax. And if we can not bring ourselves to orgasm, why do we expect our partner to make it?

2. Lack of (self-) trust

To experience an orgasm, we have to drop one hundred percent during sexual intercourse and give in to the moment can. But the chances are bad, if we think all the time "Hopefully he does not notice my cellulite" or "he certainly had hotter snails in bed".

Many women who know for themselves how to reach their peak failing in partnership sex at their uncertainty, Does that usually prevent them from trusting the partner? and tell him what they like sexually and what they want. But we should definitely do that, if we want to come at our expense.

3. Too many thoughts

Sometimes we just deal too many thingsto switch off and indulge in our lust? after all, we are humans and not animals, our mind occasionally gets in the way of the substantial things of life, even a zone as erogenous as the clitoris does not help. If such phases do not pass by on their own or we basically do not want them to simply sit out, we can try it for example with tantra yoga. This form of meditation is specifically designed to let one's own body, including sexuality, experience and grow in the here and now.

4. Excessive expectations

If we promise a sex-ridden presentation of sex and think it must hiss and steam from the beginning, it inevitably puts us under pressure and we cramp (random rhyme!). Even then, we can make up our personal peak, especially for lack of devotion ability. So what we should make clear once and for all: Our sex life is not porn! We can just as well come to orgasm in the flower sex as in the creative bondage game. Sexual intercourse is not about performance and aesthetics, but about Feeling and enjoyment.

In addition to these four major reasons can be physical orother mental factors play a role, which often play at least partly in one of these contexts. That's how some feel fear of failure especially extreme, which are usually triggered by the inflated expectations, while others especially the loss of control to fear ? again a classic trust problem.

Who now alone does not get along in the cause research and elimination of orgasm problems: Please do not hesitate to seek advice from a sexologist or a therapist! As we said, having a healthy orgasm and a fulfilling sex life is important to our self-esteem, whereas sexual listlessness can cast a shadow over our entire lives. And for this problem is pretend then namely no solution!