Not with this grandma. How Heidi Witzig started a revolution
Mrs. Witzig, it took almost three weeks to get you on the phone. Constantly on the move? is that typical of the new grandmothers?
A little bit already. Anyway, the picture of the woman with the bun and the apron knitting socks at home on the sofa is not right anymore. The new generation of grandmothers is quite vital and active, we travel, go to concerts. We are not selfless beings and have a right to a phase of life that is not just obligations.
And for that freedom you even go out on the street?
Exactly, almost like 1968. For eight years I have been involved in the "Grandmothers Revolution", a Swiss movement of old women for old women. All my life I've been campaigning for women's rights, but side by side with these grandmothers, that's incomparable? inspirational, funny and not so dogged. Oh, I can only recommend to grow old!
But women have a huge fear of it ...
Because in our society, age is seen as a time of descent! On the other hand, we resist revolutionary grandmas. We are countering the negative image, such as the grandmothers rock band Crème Brûlée, which we founded, that really cleans up ... We have a lot of fun together, but above all, we want to make a serious difference. Because it is the responsibility of society that unpaid work such as childcare is distributed more equitably. It's not allowed to land on the shoulders of the grandmothers of course because everyone thinks we have nothing else to do! Many family models only work, because the grandmas are always jumping in.
Does that mean you are personally out as a grandson?
When my daughter told me that I was going to be a grandmother, I was still fully employed as a historian. Take care regularly? Impossible! But then did this newborn look at the hospital? and everything was different. Every Thursday for nine years I look after my grandson, meanwhile my two-year-old granddaughter. I do this with dedication and absolutely voluntarily, that's crucial. I determine how much I take over, because I am responsible for my life.
Does one then somehow be considered Raven grandmother?
If you expect old women to always be there for others, definitely. It has never occurred to me to defend myself. Even if I'm a fit, fiery grandmother: Thursday night I'm always ready. Besides, I have always been active and politically involved, that is part of my life that I will not give up. We also discussed in the family whether the grandchildren could live with me, something should happen to the parents. Since I had to tell my daughter honestly that she and her husband have to find another solution. I love my grandchildren, but that's not the point. I could not do more physically alone.
How did your daughter react?
It hurt her at first, but she got it. Since she already knows me as a self-determined mother, such questions are discussed with caution and respect. But that does not work for everyone. I know women whose children put their guns on their chests when they might step in for their own interests for the first time in their lives: If you do not give everything for the grandchildren now, you stand alone when you need help later! Since then is charged.
Is that why it's so hard for many grandmothers to say no?
Such an attitude needs courage. Many women of my generation have learned that they are only loved if they are good and adapted. But it takes its revenge when you suppress your needs for a lifetime and sacrifice yourself for others.
How come?
At some point the bitterness comes, it becomes especially alive in the dementia, then the once dearest, most caring mums disperse correctly. Better so, you beckons a bit before for his happiness. It was also difficult for me when I had to tell my daughter half a year ago that I would not have so much time for the grandchildren because I fell in love again with a man from Ireland. But I became a widow 15 years ago, and now there is another man in my life. So beautiful! I would never put my new love in the background.
HEIDI WITZIG is one of the founders of the Swiss "Grandmothers Revolution": www.grossmuetter.ch
More on the subject?
Then definitely in the podcast "To be happy is a decision" With Greta Silver listen. Here's how it works2. Opportunities and life without handbrake, ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com Editor-in-Chief Doris Brückner and the 71-year-old YouTuber talk about what makes us unstoppable? now available at Audio Now. #what matters
