Misunderstandings when getting to know each other: 13 Errors
Misunderstandings when getting to know each other: Help from the community
© Birch / Getty Images / ThinkstockWe confess: Occasionally, the ChroniquesDuVasteMonde editors are sometimes over-asked. For example, on the subject of "getting to know each other": From flirtation to relationship, there are a thousand questions that you keep asking again and again. "Is that embarrassing to talk to him now?" "Is he calling back? Shall I?" And of course: "Does he really mean it, or am I going in there now?" Of course we would like to have THE decisive tip that eliminates all misunderstandings, but it does not exist.
But: Fortunately, there is someone in the ChroniquesDuVasteMonde community with almost any question - or at least with the necessary overview. That's why we did not turn to a psychologist, relationship coach or flirt expert on the subject of "Misunderstandings when getting to know each other", but rather to the community user "Pistachio ice cream": In the discussion thread "The biggest mistakes in the introductory phase "Listed 13 points from her personal experience that she believes are often misunderstood.
Misunderstander misunderstandings: the 13 mistakes of "pistachio ice cream"
1. A man who often calls and / or writes is seriously interested in a relationship.
It can be, but not necessarily. Some go to great lengths to get sex. Others need some attention from the opposite sex because they are not able to do something good for themselves.
2. A man with a desire for frequent meetings is definitely interested.
As with the first point: everything can do, nothing must. Men who need a lot of sex or confirmation from women inevitably have to see them more often.
3. Profound conversations reinforce the closeness between two men and women.
I have fallen for this mistake several times already. I used to think that I definitely care about a person when he confides personal things to me. After all, you do not discuss intimate things with everyone. Meanwhile, I know that some men have abused me only as a mental rubbish bin. If I wanted to meet with them, they had no time or rather went out with buddies or other women who were not really interested in their soul life and the contact rather superficial. It becomes especially tricky when the woman's husband also asks many questions about her life and then she thinks he is seriously interested in her.
4. When the man introduces the wife to his family and friends, he is serious about her.
Nope. It may be that he sometimes takes her to meetings with friends and holds her hand in her presence, hugs her, kisses, etc. But at other meetings with friends she may be the same with another woman withdraws. Or he just wants to state in the presence of his buddies that he has chances with a woman. I have never seen a disinterested man introduce me to his family. Mostly, men in such cases are serious. But I know a woman who went in and out of a man's parents' house for over a year, she even had a house key. Still, all the while, he just wanted an open relationship with her and returned to his ex after more than a year.
5. A declaration of love is a sign of serious interest.
Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that! Many people today do not want to know about what they said yesterday. Sayings like? You're my dream woman? or? I totally fell in love with you? are often nothing but a scam to get the woman around.
6. Invitations and gifts stand for seriousness.
Does not necessarily have to be. I have been invited by many men for many drinks and sometimes got a small gift, even though they were purely sexual interested in me or just wanted my attention.
7. A jealous man must be totally in love with said woman.
Yes, I thought so too. Many men are concerned only with power and possessions, the woman as a person does not care about them. Or they want to see whether the woman gives in to them in the introductory phase by showing herself considerate. For such men, with my weakness for sensitive types, I was a gnawing sensation.
8. Tears in men represent a sensitive personality.
In my experience, this rather means that a man uses tears as a means of power to shape the woman according to his ideas. Of course, there are also sensitive men whose tears are not calculating. They will then flow when they are looking forward to winning their football team or when they see a moving film.But it never turned out to be a good sign when a man let his tears run wild after I respond positively to an admission of love, or when he cried out of jealousy to other men around me in the introductory phase.
9. Who makes future plans, has deep feelings for the other person.
That depends on the time. Men who talk after a few days or weeks and in some cases even before the start of a partnership of shared housing, etc., often think quickly different and do not want to know a short time later.
10. A good deed says more than 1000 words.
It may be, but one should watch closely whether the one who is really doing for his object of desire or is hoping for an advantage for himself.
11. An affair that does not just consist of sex eventually becomes a relationship.
It would be nice. I have never had a classic affair, but I know many stories that went the same way. Everything went the same way as you would imagine it to be in a committed relationship - just with the difference that one of the participants (almost always the man) did not want to call the thing a partnership.
12. Men with worse cards in the opposite sex are loving and faithful partners.
I used to think that very good-looking, professionally successful, etc. men have a wider choice of women and therefore tend to dishonesty, cheating, etc. I've always got involved with men who generally have little chance of being women - partly because I do not like competition so much and do not feel like my partner being dredged up by other women. Well ... many so-called nice guys next door, who are always upset that we women allegedly all on A .... holes are, in fact, not so nice as they do to the outside. They believe that they are not worthy of being loved and lose respect for women who are really serious about them - according to the motto: "One who is keen on such a loser as me can not be worth anything his."
13. If a man does not try to get the woman to bed so quickly, then something is up to her.
No. I'm widely known for not being so easy on bed. And that's why the men used me as Egopush in the form of shared time without sex.
What you should pay attention to ...
Now, if you ask yourself what you really care about, I can only advise you to pay attention to one thing: the continuity of your behavior. If a certain regularity develops and contradictory actions fail, then one could assume a serious interest. You should allow a little time to pass, not fix yourself too fast emotionally to a man and watch the whole thing a bit, without losing the serenity.
And what do you think about the "mistakes"? Do you agree with "pistachio ice cream"? Or maybe you yourself have similar experiences in your relationships? Here you can participate directly in the discussion in the community.
