Family
May 6, 2024

I do not care if he crawls into my bed at 14!

The blog: Mamahoch 2 The bloggers: Sabrina and Bianca are in their mid-twenties, mothers of a total of three children and can handle everything that can be done with their hands - whether sewing, crocheting, baking or cooking. We like that: Great recipes, patterns and DIY ideas, garnished with readable texts on education and family life - a great overall package!

It's 2015, which is already coming to an end, and there are things that have been since the birth of my "big" son (4) the way they are and probably will be for a long time to come. This includes bed-walking behavior.

For us, or no? rather for him - it is normal that he wants to sleep or sleep in our bed. The child only sleeps in our bed, because it feels comfortable there, does not want to go out there and does not understand why it should sleep in its own bed.

Even the ultimate birthday present "loft deluxe" could only encourage him to sleep in his own bed very entertaining. This phase slowed down very quickly - rather he sleeps on the floor, instead of entering any deserted bed. Even with the beloved overnights at grandma, the young man raises claims to the lack of visitors.

If you oppose anything, you play with emotions: "But Mom, if I do not sleep with you, then I freeze, you do not just let me freeze to death." Or also very popular: "I am a baby bird and you my mum and you have to cuddle me and I do not want to be alone." The classic is probably, "It cracked." I think every mother knows this sentence or at least heard it in a similar way already.

In short, every attempt to make another bed tasty has failed, so he sleeps in our bed almost every night.

Dad is not a fan of the child in the marriage bed

He may not even be aware that the big one provides a basis for discussion with his sleeping habits. Mom shows compassion and generally does not mind having children in bed. Finally, cuddling and closeness is nice and somehow you have the little Wussel happy to be around.

Dad sees it from another direction: Restful sleep looks different? for all. When sleep? which is important? If you want to be restful, you have no feet in your face, you will not be touched either and you do not have to live with the fact that lying across and under a child's limbs. In addition, the bed area is significantly larger when children sleep in their own bed and the word couple life gets another meaning without a child in bed.

Theoretically, these arguments are, of course, justified, but a witty mom comes around the corner with a manslaughter argument. She grows up and says courageously:

"But we always sleep together in a bed, so how do you explain to him that he should sleep alone?"

There is silence - long silence, until finally follows:

"Yes, but we are married too!"

All right, "But I gave birth to him." Silence again.

"But we also had to sleep in our bed as children, so there was no such thing as FAMILIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEENBETT, or whatever you call it."

Human children are nest stools

Of course he is right. It was not like that in the old days, but earlier on children were given carrot juice with six weeks, made them scream so that the voices would be strong and made sure that they spent 80 percent of the day lying in the cradle and not were worn so as not to spoil them.

In the meantime, I have strengthened my position a little bit: the children are simply free to sleep with us if they wish. After all, are human children? so my deep conviction? Nesthocker and the short walk through all the mammals I know I have not come up with, which stores his baby at night and then "goes his way". The idea that a koala bear says, "You stay fine tonight and I'll be gone," somehow does not fit in my head. Even if there are clear differences between our two children because the little one loves his bed? still.

Do I spoil my children?

When I talk to others about it, I often hear, "What are you going to do if the guy is still sleeping with you at 14?" Well, that's just how it is. Even if I am firmly convinced that at the latest with increasing puberty, the urge grows to encapsulate more of Mama and then rather prefer to cuddle with other people.

Often I also hear: "Well, you spoil them very nice!". What should a mother do but what else? Shall I put her in a dark room at night and make her scream just so I can proudly say, "Well, I'm not spoiling my kids." And the day after, I run proudly with deep eye rings on work and tell everyone: "Look, I'm the greatest, I've managed that they have fallen asleep in their bed."

When I think of older generations, I keep hearing this phrase: "We should have just listened more to our feelings in the past and allowed them to be closer." Now the kids are big and you feel you've missed something. "

And while my husband and I continue to discuss this topic and try to find the "right way", we look next to us and see how the Blessed One has fallen asleep next to us and slumbers peacefully to himself. And we are sure, in any case, not a "wrong way" to have taken.

Text by Sabrina Heinke, originally published on www.mamahoch2.de.