"Germany's Next Top Model": In the realm of Kampfgrinserin
Jennifer fought her way through the final - and we went with it. Yes, suffered. And not because the prolonged Miss Model choice was so terribly exciting. Everyone knew who would win anyway. Jennifer the first, Janina the second, Christina the third.
We have suffered so much because we always like to "stop!" screamed. ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com Editor Inga Leister has considered which seven movements we would like to hear from Heidi Klum's mouth.
On the next page: "I'm not nice, I just look like this."
"I'm not nice, I just look nice."
If something was missing in any GNTM episode, then this near-miss phrase: "Heidi is so nice." Jupp-Heidi, juppheida. No! Heidi Klum is not nice at all! She just looks like this (at most).
Anyone who has once watched how Frrrrau Klum has taken a girl apart from the Tribunal and not reassembled her can no longer believe the grinning woman's smile.
Of course everything in the name of professionalism, "I always only want the best for the girls". But does this include denunciation, for example? Apparently already: Heidi Klum called on the girls in a row to name the one who does not fit into the group.
Also Dieter Bohlen is not nice at all - and makes DSDS exactly to the success. But at least no one pretends to be a guess.
On the next page: "Of course I would go to the jungle camp - just a question of money!"
"Of course I would go to the jungle camp - just a matter of money!"
Heidi Klum is at the top of the list of top earners. But she also does something for her money: If you believe the "star", she earns quite a lot in the GNTM business.
But not only the girls, but also the ratings have to be brought to life. It does not matter if it is ever a bit below the waistline. Her million-dollar-baby-seal has also very quickly sneaked Heidi in the finale, the man has to sell CDs!
If the girl no longer likes to see anyone, the enterprising daddy Klum will think of something. For the jungle camp Heidi would still have to gain a gear: Balancing an egg with a spoon in the mouth over the catwalk like in this GNTM squadron is not enough anymore.
Before the next page: commercial break. Bring money. And then: "With the dead animal on your head, you look stupid."
"With the dead animal on your head, you look stupid."
To come back to the jungle camp for a moment: That should be possible for Heidi. Because Fortunately, models do not have to do any shit. Seen in a television program called "Germany's Next Top Model".
Dead octopus on the head. Fighting a vertigo on a bridge. The live photo shoot with tarantula and snake in the final. Does that look nice? "In terms of color that suits the dress very well," said Heidi. Main thing to participate.
That a model without TV terror can say "I do not do that.", The audience of Heidi's world, unfortunately, have never noticed.
On the next page: "Eat something!"
"Eat something!"
Admittedly, most exaggerated skinny leanings luckily did not have any of the candidates. Nevertheless, the school radio effect of the show should not be underestimated.
Every eighth-grader has noticed that the ill-tempered Gisele has "a bit too much" bacon around her waist. "A little too much? - That's a bit too much!" It was said at a casting.
How much that can break, has shown the example of Sarah: The lightly dressed did not dare, because they used to always found everyone too fat. That's why she just believed herself Germany's Next Topmoppel, What a crap!
Please girls, so eat something. You will not be top models anyway.
Why? This is on the next page.
"Germany's next top model? That I do not laugh!"
"Only one can become Germany's Next Top Model, just one and so on. "Only one? None! The name of the show is correct, the Germany, a German TV show is without doubt." What comes next, so the "top model" is to be provided with some question marks.
Anyone who is not a model at 20 will usually not. Christina is 21, Janina 23. Even Jennifer is likely to struggle, despite her 113-cm-long legs: Anyone who has kept his face in so many TV cameras, for the really interesting will be uninteresting. See Lena Gercke and Barbara Meier, the winners of season 1 and 2. Did you see them on top model jobs? Nope? We neither.
"Please come back, Bruce!"
"Please come back, Bruce!"
"Hello Bruce, is that you? ... Yeah, not heard for a long time, I'm sorry you did not attend this season, you really missed me, I did not necessarily have my big gig without yours Shadow. But the program just works better with you than without you.
You know, somehow the audience liked you, bizarre owl, you know that. And German your successor Rolf Scheider can not really, even though he comes from the Harz. That's how it is when you live in Paris for a long time. Yesterday in the final I forgot at short notice when to do my driving license in Germany.
Anyway, when you come back, maybe we can annoy the girls a little less. Because the audience laughs at you instead of pitying or laughing at the girls. So, are you back in season four? "
This phone call is a lie and has not taken place. Unfortunately.
"Guys, I want to see you cry!"
"Guys, I want to see you cry!"
Unfortunately did not work. Except for one exception, the men's models in the semifinals showed attitude - and what a. Since the woman in front of the TV can finally devour cut- but if that is really suitable as a concept for a separate season?
Tasty something to look to stay in the Gina Lisa jargon, we also at the European Championships, And there's no zig-zag among boys. Tears are hardly to be expected - especially when the right men are sought among the men.
Luckily, Heidi does not necessarily have to rely on the guys. Right after the summer break, said Peyman Amin yesterday, there will be "Germany's Next Top Model" in fourth edition with new "girls". We could have endured it longer without the broadcast.
