Defiance phase and puberty? Pillepalle! The supreme discipline is grown children
I realized it early: education is more difficult than expected. When my kids threw themselves on the floor crying and screaming because they wanted to put on a summer dress rather than snow suits, or if they turned into true magic monsters in the Edeka, because the desired Schoki did not end up in the car, it was nerve-racking and much patience. But over time, I acquired a few tactics that made it easier, sometimes worse, to tame the little monsters. Finally, there were enough guides for this hot phase. And the most beautiful thing was, you knew: it was part of a normal development? After all, you want self-confident children? and IT'S OVER.
Puberty is a breeze, right?
Exactly the same applies to puberty. No matter how crazy it is, everything is completely normal! And yet you are always in front of a world that you do not quite understand. Dirty teenies, buttoned up boys, that can drive you crazy. No, you do not always think about it, and even if you know why it all happens. Worst of all, I found the endless discussions? the logic often incomprehensible. But it's true: it's over.
Suddenly grown up
And then suddenly they grew up. You can tell by the fact that you can go shopping with girls again, without them constantly meticulously rolling their eyes. It's harder to spot with the boys. You may speak a little bit more. Anyway, everything was fine, I thought, patting my shoulder on the inside. All four had found a job that suited them and my educational goal seemed to have been achieved: I had raised self-confident, self-confident people who knew what they wanted and were reasonably happy and content. Now you can breathe, I thought, a long and challenging chapter of your life is complete! Well .... THAT I thought.
Help, the children get children
10 years later: The children come to visit. With you: your partners and our wonderful grandchildren. And I have a Déj'à-Vu, only in tenfold execution. Suddenly shoes, bags, scarves and caps block the entrance. A lot of shoes and bags ... My horrified cry,? What does it look like here? Unleash the maximum of a nostalgic smile. As for the table manners, we were always pretty strict. And it's not that easy to let go of that one generation later. Our grandchild likes to smear the chocolate pudding not only on the face and hands, but also quickly when getting up on the upholstered chairs. Actually, I try to stay out of education, but there are limits. "Should not you just wash your hands?" I dare to interject. And she's back again, the discussion about table manners and parenting. Finally with the note: "I am the mother." My: "I am the owner of the upholstered chairs" somehow goes under.
Am I really senile?
Worse still, when a role reversal begins. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting senile at the age of 70 and need to be educated. "You have to completely redesign your living room, your old jaw box is a crime for humanity and when will dad finally throw away the old computer ?? I take a deep breath and think: Let's go and take care of your own chaos. Well, let's be honest: I say it. And that's exactly what triggers a bigger discussion about our household and our tone of voice. Was not that the other way around? Insane!
We go on holiday as we like
And then the discussions about the holiday. Recently, I happily told my daughter that we're going back to Spain in June. "But not back to the same place as the last five years," my daughter asked in horror. And I breathed again. Such a birth preparation course really helps for decades ... But hand on heart: why do I have to justify that we like to go to a place we love, that does us good? We are adults, too! Nevertheless, we have not lacked good advice since our children regard themselves as adults and us as something senile. "Dad could finally cleaned the toilet ?, was the announcement the other day. Or: "Do not you even want to move, zoom out?" Well, you do not have to downsize after such a question anymore. It makes you feel small enough.
And yet it is beautiful ...
And yet: I am a proud and happy mom. Even when the kids were in puberty, it was kind of a good time. I was allowed to join in a first love again, I realized that they trust me and that they let me participate in their abysses, I have seen as a compliment. It's kind of like now. Surely there are parents who do not have to listen to all this crap.But at what price? No matter how annoying I find them sometimes: These children are and feel at home here apparently. They say that with bags, pudding stains and furnishing suggestions. That is sometimes hard, but also honest of them. Whether I let it always be, is another matter. But I understand that they love us and want us good. And they will always look after us when we are senile. This is more important than any upholstered chair.
So in twenty years' time, when their own children come to visit and find their crazy hip decor antiquated, they will be sorry anyway. But then they have to go through. That's the way it is with children. Even if they have been grown up for a long time.
