Celebration alarm and other "Ü 30 diseases"

The 10 most beautiful "Ü 30 diseases"

Diseases like speech bubbles, the thing-syndrome and the dreaded after-work loss - have you never heard of it? These are the typical Ü-30 ticks! Nina Puri has summarized quirks of over 30 year olds in a not very serious, but very enlightening reference work: "Ü-30 Diseases The Great Counselor, Recognize Last, Become First" (to be published on: 1 June 2009 ).

So you know what to expect, or to finally understand what's going on with you: our favorite excerpts.

Salvation (Latin Buddha of suburbia)

Description: Sudden turn to Far Eastern religiosity

Superficial reasons: The spirituality of the age

Deeper reasons: Richard Gere, Mehmet Scholl, Tina Turner

Possible symptoms: - The O-30s, who can not distinguish the Holy Spirit from the Easter Bunny and the Magi from the twelve apostles, speaks fluently about the five Tibetans, the four noble truths and the eightfold path. - The Dalai Lama smiles down from the living room wall, incense cones and incense sticks are smoldering in every room, prayer flags fly between the mailbox and the bicycle rack in the front yard.

Celebration alarm (lat: fiesta furiosa)

Description: Swelling of any festivity for a multi-day giga event

Possible Cause: Any celebration could be the last.

Possible symptoms: - In a decoratively designed save-the-date email, guests are informed that the O-30 is getting married / celebrating a birthday / leave-taking - and that guests may take three days off for this great event. Details following.

- On hand-made handmade paper, guests read that the festivities are taking place in a country castle in Seville, Ibiza or Tuscany, and guests are required to make timely reservations for flights and car rental to the 300 kilometers between the airport and the country castle and in one of the three surrounding castle hotels Like to book a room for three nights. Details following.

At the dedicated website, guests will find out that the festivities include a seven-course banquet with laser show, water ballet, open-air live music, horse dressage, fireworks and magic gala, and eveningwear, formal wardrobe, cocktail wardrobe, disco dress, casual summer wardrobe , Sportswear, swimwear and warm clothing is requested. Details following.

After the celebration the following detail: In a carelessly designed bank statement, guests are informed that they have mercilessly overdrawn their account and like to dress warmly for the next few months. No further details.

Gentle break (lat. Ex and top)

Description: Fair separation by mutual consent and thanks to inner maturity

Worrying symptoms: - The Expartners become best friends right after leaving each other with no hint of resentment, and they now understand each other much better than before. - Friends learn that the ex-partners, of course, continue to come together to invitations, to the movies and bowling, after all, they like each other very, very much and have spent many wonderful years together.

Are located: Dazzling! How so?

Calm course: If one of the ex-partners enters into a new relationship, the other exponent will face normal murder fantasies, terrorist calls and judicial mud-battles leading to the Rose War, which splits the entire county forever.

Later gonorrhea (lat. Mega pack)

Description: Increasing burden and immobility on vacation

Juvenile Stadium: I pack my suitcase around: a toothbrush and an Interrail ticket.

Senile Stadium: I pack my suitcase and bring along: an electric toothbrush with spare attachment, a day cream, a night cream, a special anti-toothpaste toothpaste, a mouthwash, a floss box, an irrigator with a change nozzle, a Antiknirsch night rail, a toiletry bag, a cosmetic bag, a Jewelery bag, hair dryer, curling tongs, medicine bag, first aid kit, airline ticket, copy of airline ticket, identity card, copy of identity card, credit card, EC card, foreign PINs, one Transparent cover with hotel addresses, hotel reservation confirmations, health insurance certificate, all-round insurance and copies of hotel addresses, hotel reservation confirmations, health insurance certificate and all-round carelessness insurance and telephone numbers of the German embassy, a map, a city map, a Lonely Planet travel guide, a Beadecker travel guide, a Basic vocabulary encyclopedia, a mobile phone, a cell phone charger, an international adapter, an address calendar, an iPod with headphones, an iPod charger, three trolleys, a carry-on bag, a flight pillow, anti-thrombosis stockings, flight reading.

Preventive precautions: Of course, the far-flung Ü-30s, to be on the safe side, ordered the veggie menu and seat at the emergency exit in advance, googled the travel weather, geyoutubed the best beach, the best hotel room, the most secret beach spot and the tastiest mango. Milkshake in the Lonely Planet marked.

End of workday (lat. Nine to five to nine)

Description: The convergence of work and leisure

Possible symptoms: The U-30 woman logs in front of breakfast in the company network, spends the lunch break with customer acquisition, listens in the evening in "Dionysus" 17 incoming calls, revised at night in bed the market analysis and goes on Sundays for leisurely brainstorming in the office.

Side effects: Pling! Biiiep! Ring!

Are located: Flexible, responsible and state-of-the-art

Dingsda syndrome (Latin: öm)

Description: Something that is on your tongue. What was it again?

Possible outgrowths: - The Ü30er just knew what he wanted at the delicatessen counter, but then forgot it suddenly and stares at the seller so long perplexed, unwavering and reproachful, until the milk has become butter. - When trying to bring in a witty film quote, successively say goodbye quote, film, plot, director and all the actors from the hard disk of the puzzling and struggling to words Ü30ers. - At each party, the Ü30er is greeted by friendly people, hugging and kissing, which he can not classify either by name or autobiographical, but just now finally want to be presented to each other.

1 I, 2 Öh, 3 Dingsda, 4 It's my tongue, 5 Tell me another 6 That's the one ... 7-18 Öm

Speech bubbles (Latin mum pitz)

Description: Banal outbreaks of people over 30, who register themselves under the heading "age wisdom"

Possible expressions: - Out of old age, thank God, out. - Nivea always performs best. - That's all psychosomatic. - I really do not want to be twenty again. - The skin does not forget anything - We do not get together so young.

Bird flu (Latin for sexuality)

Description: Increasing dexterity in the subject of sex

Causes: - The physical deterioration progresses faster than the weakness of the partner's vision. - The morning stiffness has shifted in the Ü-30s from the genital on the back. - To have sex, you would have to take out the anti-crunch splint and drop off the reading glasses. - The foundations of the relationship are now trust, depth of feeling, willingness to talk and cable TV.

Helpful substitute actions: Go out to eat and see beautiful art collecting art Becoming a president and invading other countries

Serial junkie (lat. Hbo)

Description: The desire for upscale and age-appropriate home entertainment leads many Ü-30s into the dependence on foreign TV series

Dangerous pathogens: Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Mad Men, Lost, The Wire, Sex and the City, Deadwood, 24

Consequences: To be the first to come to Lost, Season 5 OmU, the affected Ü-30 is ready for any form of procurement crime.

Feverish excitement with burning questions: Is Brenda pregnant? Does Tony have to die? Does Don leave his wife?

Conflagration: USB stick

Remedies: GZSZ, Lindenstraße, Marienhof

Elternlosigkeit (Latin Papamobil / mamamobil)

Description: The feeling that parents are not what they used to be

Possible symptoms: - The over-30s invites his father for a birthday, which unfortunately has to cancel, because he is running on the day just the New York Marathon. Kiss! - After figuring out who is going to take this Christmas grandma, Grandma informs in a good mood that this time she is spending Christmas with the new lover at the Tango evening at La Luna. It is going to be a party! - While their own children eat the Ü-30's hair from the head, the parents happily skip the legacy in the winter residence in Mallorca. Greetings from the sun, your parents!

Only remaining hope: Age yourself fast (good chances!)

Interview with Nina Puri, the expert on mild aging

Nina Puri is the author of the new book "Ü-30 Diseases - The Great Guide", At the age of 43 she is an expert on the mild signs of aging of all those who still consider themselves young.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Why is 30 just such a drastic age?

Nina Puri: At 30, life changes. People are asking more and more often if they do not want children and if it is not time to complete a Riester pension. Schwups, you suddenly have very fast, quite a lot on the cheek. Alone what you have to remember everything: bank code, credit card number, second credit card number, health insurance, health club membership card, liability, household effects, home savings. Life becomes more complicated.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: What is the difference between Ü-30 and Ü-50 and Ü-50 diseases?

Nina Puri: The transition is fluid. At 30 you feel really young.Then women put 1.3 children in the world and friends give T-shirts with the inscription "I'm 30, please help me across the street". At the age of 40, the men realize that their partners are already in their 40s, and they are quickly looking for a 20-year-old on the internet. Women then seek the proximity of green plants, organic foods and Far Eastern religions. And for the first time, they are being whipped by younger ones, which they ignore, of course. With 50 there is again a Aufbäumen. Men make the driving license class A and drive motorcycle, women have then already the umpteenth relationship behind and a double name. By the age of 60 it is getting quieter, then the Nordic walking phase begins.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Which Ü-30 Diseases Do You Own?

Nina Puri: The "Dingsda syndrome" (Latin: öm) I know well. If you just knew what you wanted at the delicatessen counter, but then suddenly forget it, and staring at the seller until the milk has become butter. Or if, in the attempt to bring in a witty cinematic quotation, one after the other says goodbye to the brain: quote, film, plot, director. The disease "double heart" (Latin: drama galama) I have already. The deceptive feeling that one still has the power of the two hearts and therefore could still indicate animal, especially in front of people who are older than you. Then you make a sporty hops and fall terribly on the muzzle.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Could you research your own Ü-30 diseases through your research?

Nina Puri: No, but I'm getting a lot more professional now. And scientifically proven. But some symptoms cure themselves: If you do not even look at Chucks, retro tracksuits and iPod in the ear of younger people, you will eventually realize that something is lazy.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Which Ü-30 Disease Do You Find Most Annoying on Others?

Nina Puri: Actually, I consider them all with emotion and understanding - not annoyed. Excessive are Ü-30 diseases at most for the laughing muscles.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Should Ü-30 parties be banned because of contagion?

Nina Puri: Why should you ban something so beautiful? It is only important that there are enough paramedics and civil service providers who ensure that the U-30s are back on time and safely back in the old people's home.