Why arguing is healthy? even in front of the children!
I become unattractive when I am angry. Unfortunately. That's why I can not be quite rational and reserved when my husband behaves stupidly. Basically, I'm of the opinion that a dispute can purify the air and is really healthy. Raging anger and anger can not be the solution. If everyone has said everything that bothers him, the fronts are clear, then you can finally start relaxed again. That's what my children should know. That will not hurt them in life.
Sometimes I get loud or pop doors
However, am I? as I said ? sometimes slightly unobjective. Then I get bitchy, my tone sharp or insulting, sometimes I scream and bang doors. I find that myself not really good. Of course you could tell me to pull myself together, but sometimes it just can not be done. When the kids are sick, the man is barely there, the work stacks up on the desk and then the dishwasher is broken. Most mothers will know what I mean ...
So the other day I talked to a colleague about this topic and she said: "We are always quarreling at home, then we get along again, children have to learn to deal with conflicts". She seemed quite satisfied. At that moment I liked her even more than I already like her. What a wonderful view of things! "Only one should be so fair, I can not always get it," she added with a laugh.
I knew exactly what she meant. The topic definitely interested me, so I researched a bit. Both in my circle of friends as well as in the Internet, everyone was agreed: Quarrels is completely okay? if there are no bad words and you can stand it again later. Best in the presence of children. Also, do not let them get in or maybe pretend that everything is okay, if it's not. Something even remember one year old already.
Strife does not mean that you divorce
In fact, children also have to learn that not everything in life is just peace, joy, pancakes. That there are conflicts everywhere that want to be overcome. And that a little bit of Zoff does not mean that you never talk to each other again or get divorced. Is also an important lesson, right? They can definitely be taught by me very well. Aside from that, my daughters do not pay much attention to me if they knock properly. Just as a side note.
I think if you love someone, you love him too, even though you sometimes find him stupid. Affection does not mean that you always have to find everything super at the other, but that you like him, even though he has weaknesses. After all, I also want to be liked, although I'm not perfect in the approach and sometimes moan or scream.
Then I quarrel now quieter
In any case, I already felt rehabilitated after talking to my colleague. Instead of the intention to never argue with my husband in front of my children, I just pretend to argue fairer, quieter? and above all always to reconcile me. That sounds feasible to me. After all, I am only human. And a little bit of trouble now and then, which is overcome, is also totally super for the kids.
