Sexological Bodyworker: "I'll help you to feel you"
The hardest thing, says Anja Frost, is to shake off the men on the phone, who just want an erotic massage. Only the 42-year-old does not say so, she is too diplomatic, she says instead: "I find out on the phone, what the customer really want, and if I can not offer that, then I do not reject but forward it to the right place. " After all, needs are different, as there is nothing wrong with it, but in their small practice in Hamburg-Eimsbüttel, it's not about quick satisfaction of needs, but about "getting back into the body".
What she offers is not erotic, but is called "Sexological Bodywork". In California, after all, this is already a recognized, certified profession that can be learned at institutes. Anja Frost talks with her clients about sexuality and how she relates to her own body, she does breathing exercises and body-awareness exercises with them, but yes, she touches and massages them, mindful, but everywhere: "The genital and anal area is finally a normal part of the body, just like an arm. "
The educated pedagogue wants to help people who believe they have lost touch with their own body and sexuality, who feel too nonsensical, inexhaustible, uninvited. It comes men, women and couples, the proportion of female and male customers is about the balance. Some are just curious, they want to know what else is going on. Most men come but because of erectile problems. Most women, because they do not come to orgasm or are heavily aroused. They all want fast solutions, a technique, a recipe.
The thing is just that: The quick recipe does not exist. The body has its own will.
Many women feel that they only exist up to their necks
Anja Frost notices this every time a woman lies in front of her, at first wrapped in a cloth, Anja Frost puts her hand on her stomach, one hand on her chest, very calm, and suddenly all the locks, tears open flow. By a simple, harmless touch that does not want anything.
"Women often have the feeling that they only exist up to their necks, they have lost the connection to the body underneath," says Anja Frost. She is not surprised. "We're always on our minds all day, and sexuality is supposed to be there when we're with the partner, and that sexuality is demanding, fast, purposeful, but the body is slow." The most important approach is therefore to take it more again. "Starting with very simple observations like: How do I actually sit, how does the fabric feel from the chair?" Many people, Anja Frost says, have forgotten their sensuality.
Some find their job a bit offensive, Anja Frost knows that, especially as she also offers tantra massages. But there is a demand for their services, from ordinary people who have to overcome all their shame and inhibitions. She believes that it is becoming increasingly normal to seek help from someone like her.
The most important thing is to love yourself first
"Many people are hungry and thirsty, looking for someone to feed them, women always think they have to be attractive, have nice breasts, a nice ass, that's what they have to work on, then they'll get the affirmation from others but also in the form of touch and sexuality, but that is a twisted view, the most important thing is to love yourself first. "
This includes losing the shame, showing arousal, not just sexual. That one again develops a pleasure in experiencing oneself physically. Like a child who jumps from the tree house. "But verbal communication alone is difficult," says Anja Frost. That's why she works physically, with touch, the massage. The body is learning. The mind can not believe that the body possesses such wisdom. But he would do that.
I, the journalist, could not verify that, so far I have not dared to book a session with Anja Frost, at least not to write about it. My colleagues did not want either. Too much shame, too many inhibitions. But does that say something about us? And if so, what?
