Our body: mothers tell the naked truth
Whether stripes on the breasts or wrinkles on the stomach: Every mother knows them, the souvenirs that leaves a pregnancy. And still makes a secret of it. The scars are hidden under wide clothing, pain or complexes are concealed.
This taboo will finally break the American Bonnie Crowder. On her page Theshapeofamother.com women can upload pictures of their changed body and write their stories, feelings and thoughts. The contributions are clearly subdivided into categories, such as "abdomen", "caesarean section", "twin birth" or "vaginal injuries". Hardly a phenomenon that can not be found here.
In the US, the page that celebrated its seventh birthday in July quickly became a hit. More than 2,600 women have published their stories there. In an interview with ChroniquesDuVasteMonde MOM, Bonnie Crowder, a single mother of two, explains why she wants nothing less than to change the world.
Bonnie Crowder
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde MOM: How did you come up with the idea of launching "The Shape of a Mother"?
Bonnie Crowder: A friend sent pictures of her stretch marks years ago. I myself was struggling with the flabby skin on my stomach after pregnancy. That's why it touched me a lot to see the pictures. I realized how good it is to see that you are normal and not alone in your appearance. This experience I wanted to enable other mothers.
Apparently, your feeling was right - the page was known lightning fast.
I was totally flattened by the great response. I only asked a few friends to forward the link. And it spread fast in the net. Only a month after the launch, the Guardian reported in London about it. On the one hand, I was thrilled that I could give the women something they desperately needed. On the other hand, it saddens me that there are just as many women who suffer from their appearance and physical changes. I hope body ideals will someday be irrelevant because we have learned to love ourselves the way we are.
How is it that the woman's body often turns into a top-secret-zone after a birth?
Basically, a woman's life in our western society is divided into three phases: the girl phase, the mother phase, and the old-box phase. (By the way, this also applies to women who are not mothers). And we are particularly obsessed with the first phase, the youth. I believe that patriarchal structures are still to blame for keeping women under control. But if we women choose to remain as young as possible and hide all the consequences of age and motherhood, then we also give up our old-box wisdom. And without this wisdom, we are weaker and will always be.
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I am only 25 years old, but my breasts are already one generation after breastfeeding I have never had the best tissue, but I gained an important ability after breastfeeding: when I get out of the shower naked and still On the way I want to pick up some lying around, I have my hands free, because my pen, the notebook and my smartphone are stuck under my breasts. "From Katharina
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I gave birth six months ago and my body is a disaster so I could cry on a regular basis when I look in the mirror - I've gained 25kg during pregnancy and currently 10 extra pounds are still hanging like tough chewing gum on my hip. The balancing act as a mother to fulfill his duties to the husband and his child is already difficult enough: how can you be sexy and seductive with dripping, hanging, empty breasts? " From Jana
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"During pregnancy, I gained 20 kg, thinking that it would be best for me and my child to breastfeed, but only 2.5 months, my child was a crying child, and in those 2.5 months I have 30 My breasts looked like two luscious raisins, my stomach had more wrinkles than a pleated skirt could ever have.The summer was coming up and I was dead unhappy.It took almost a year for my breasts to cease looked like two different sized raisins that could not resist gravity. " From Sabine
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"After the first caesarean section, I was told that the feeling between the incision and the navel came back, which it did not, and after the second caesarean section I had little hope.I've always wanted to know if all women who gave birth by caesarean section are treated like this. And if everyone has been told. " From Barbara
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I always used to think that stretch marks and Co. were something like the end of the world, as I have noticed, they are not, but one is always unsettled, be it by dubious role models à la Heidi Klum or comments from close people (quote son while he points to my stomach, "Mama, what's the fat there?") or if one is offered the precedence in the locker room, 'with your tummy.' "
From Anja, 30 years, 2 children
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I can now feel my breasts over my shoulders after 2 pregnancies." What bothers me most is a fat apron that starts a hand's breadth below the belly button and stops above the hairline of the pubic area, but it's not all that bad I know this is incomprehensible to a great many, but for me they are a reminder of a wonderful time that I would not want to miss. "
By Julia, 27 years, 2 children
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"After the birth, I thought my breasts were bursting, they were so huge and looked like chipmunks because the skin was torn because of that, and because my son was too weak to breastfeed, the pump has disfigured my breasts it's not nice to have it, especially not if you work in nursing and you see older people with such beautiful breasts. "
From Christina, 22 years, 1 child
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I envy the mothers, who can make friends with everything and are almost proud of the changes in their bodies because they gave birth to one or more children, whereas I would like to feel slim and sexy again ... because Not only do I suffer from it, but my husband as well, sex is in short supply with us, yes, of course, because I am tired and tired in the evening, but mainly because I still do not feel well in my skin. "
By Sandra, 2 children
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
"I look like I'm pregnant again, my son is 10.5 months old and my skin and connective tissue does not seem to be the best, unfortunately I have to be extremely careful about what I eat because my stomach bulges quickly But one gets to hear from many sides (especially from mothers-in-law) that one has not made enough regression, I have done a normal recovery course and an intensive course (both yoga), and now I start again. " From Sabine
"My stomach, bosom, butt have been lucky, they are now back to normal My problem is further down Even three years after the birth of my son, I have the feeling between the legs open like a barn door Discipline pelvic floor training, the vagina is much farther than before, the result: much less sense of sex, I'm really scared that it will last forever. " By Tanja, 33, 1 child
Crash Test Mommies: The body reports of our readers
I feel like an Amazon, with a breast, a saggy breast, Before the pregnancies, I had two roughly equal breasts that were small, but they did not hang for that, just one of my breasts Having enough milk channels, I quiet one-sidedly and now, after the birth of my second child, I have a huge hanging chest in whose shadow a small breast half hangs, half stands Sometimes the sight of my reflection really hurts, I feel neither beautiful nor female. Then I look at one of my kids, smile and just pull something nice over me, hoping that the difference in size will be masked a bit. "
By Emilia, 2 children (5 years and 5 months)
Also, women rarely talk to each other about the physical consequences of pregnancy - or is this different with you?
It is a difficult topic. I think that competition plays a role here. The other day I heard a woman say to another woman, "You're the type of woman that other women hate." And it was meant as a compliment. How perverted is that, please? In my case, my girlfriends have been talking to me long enough about the subject, and meanwhile we have very good, loving conversations about it. I think that the more women talk about their bodies openly and appreciatively, the more women will follow.
The site has been online for seven years - what moved you the most during that time?
The stories of women who have lost their babies. Especially women whose bodies show no sign of pregnancy and who desperately want some physical trait prove that they once had a baby. This has relativized many things for me.
Do you think that "Shape of a Mother" could change the attitude of society a bit?
Yes, I think so. I consider it a protest against standard beauty ideals. I have this image in my mind as I stand on a shopping street with my Photoshop-free images of women of all sizes and shapes - and how more and more women join me. And I'm not alone: The movement is also growing in other places. It is important that we stay strong and openly show the diversity of the body.
How do you feel with your body today?
I still experience ups and downs, I have not yet reached the perfect self-love. Whenever I feel insecure, I focus on the things my body does to me every day. I tell myself that I am strong and healthy, and that I gave birth to two babies who are wonderful people today. It's just a wonder what the body does to keep me alive. It's beautiful - and so am I.
Tell us your stories!
One mother confided to us the other day: "I got twins a year ago, my milk-tired, chewed-up breasts now look like they're making a race for the navel, the left one is going to win." Are your body parts similarly mobile? How do you feel in your body after birth? What are you embarrassed about, what did you come to terms with? Write us in the comments all the things nobody else talks about!
