Not in the mood for sex? You can do that!
Stress at work, Zoff in the partnership, after Christmas a few pounds more on the ribs or just a life phase in which everything seems gray in gray. Most women know this: if life does not go smoothly, if one goes too far or if one is dissatisfied with oneself, the desire for sexuality often suffers. Often the lust for sex returns to normal when the stress is overcome or the relationship is cemented.
The loss of sexual desire is a widespread phenomenon and often a very stressful issue for affected women. Scientific studies show that more than 10 percent of women felt personally burdened by sexual aversion last year.
When is sexual aversion a problem?
Every woman is different. Some of you indulge in erotic daydreams every day, always feel like it and are happy to be very often sexually active? whether alone or together with a partner. Other women rarely have sex in mind, they need a trusting relationship, calm, relaxation and a clear head to get into an erotic mood. Just as people differ in their hobbies, culinary tastes, or preferences, there are also normal differences in interest in sexuality.
However, it is more common than commonly assumed that women feel little or no desire for sex for a long time. This condition is very stressful for many people affected. You may remember how sexy and passionate you are, for example. At the beginning of a new partnership, we were sad or saddened by how pleasant and relaxing sex was in earlier times. For some women, this condition is so frustrating that it also affects other areas of life: they feel irritable, depressed, ashamed of their problem, or have fears about their relationship.
Overall, about 30 percent of women develop a sexual problem during their lifetime, most often women experience a lack of desire for sex. If such sexual listlessness continues for several months and the affected woman feels personally burdened with it, there may be a sexual dysfunction. Experts then speak of a reduced sexual desire. To be sure that a sexual dysfunction is present, a detailed clarification by a psychologist or a doctor is needed. In a conversation, for example, it is ruled out that the problem is triggered by certain physical factors, such as medication or illness.
How can the problem be overcome?
Unfortunately, the miracle pill for sexual pleasure has not yet been invented. A Viagra for women is not in sight despite large research efforts of the pharmaceutical industry. However, studies have shown that psychological approaches that focus on working on one's own lust and actively tackling the sexual problem are showing good results. Women who deal with their sexuality in this way often report more desire and greater satisfaction with their sexual life.
Psychological approaches usually involve sexualtherapy exercises that can help to increase or rediscover female pleasure. It is all about rediscovering one's own body and one's own sexuality. In a first step, affected women are stimulated, and their own body sensations, e.g. to consciously perceive during showering or creaming. Or explore your own private area with a hand mirror. This is a whole new experience for many women! For women in a partnership, partnering exercises can also help to reunite sexually without pressure to perform and to express sexual desires. For women who suffer from sexual listlessness, psychological counseling, sexual therapy or psychotherapy can be used to introduce and implement these methods. Unfortunately, psychotherapists specializing in sex therapy are rare. Many offers are chargeable or based on approaches whose effectiveness is not proven.
To increase your sexual desire and improve your sexual well-being, many women may benefit from Internet-based self-help programs. The advantage of such programs is that they can be flexibly carried out from home in a timely manner. Since the beginning of 2019, such a self-help program has been provided for women with reduced sexual desire for the first time in German and free of charge by researchers at the Ruhr University Bochum. More information on this innovative offer can be obtained from affected women on the website of the "miself-study".
You want to share your experiences of sexual pleasure or aversion with other women? Then have a look in our forum!
Videotipp: These are the best sexures when you are tired
