sex
May 5, 2024

New man, better sex?

Since I have no husband, I have had some men. Most of my sex life is better than my love life, and when I hear my more or less happy monogamous friends, I can be grateful for that. I am too. I have experiences that I do not want to miss as new insights and later memories. For example, that sex is also interesting as a pop (p) cultural phenomenon.

During my 14-year marriage, I had assumed that our sex style, developed over years, was the current, generally accepted Western European gold standard: No one gets hurt, 15 minutes minimum, orgasms for all, and afterwards, both are better off than worse. My ex-husband was 46 years old at the time of our break-up and, as far as books, films, cars, waste separation, politics and economics were concerned, up to date; so that during our common life and love story, I automatically assumed that there would be a kind of general knowledge in sex between (erotic) educated adults, such as the naturalization test or basic Abitur, only more practical and result-oriented in the application. What deviated from that, I disqualified without further ado as a sexual Nerdtum or RTL Reportagenstoff.

Meanwhile, I have learned a lot. First, not everything was better in the past, even when you were younger. Secondly, that in addition to his role as a couple-bound and family kicks-starter, sex now plays in the same category as other lifestyle pleasures - such as going out, shopping or fitness training. This is also due to the increasing individualization and dissolution of social requirements and structures. And thirdly, that women in particular have clear advantages. It is therefore, by the way, completely superfluous to continue to research on a "pleasure pill" for women. Let it be good, people! No animal experiments anymore! This is just as useless as guilty sexual or couple therapies in which the "sexual dysfunction" of the woman is to be "repaired" in the long term.

Only a new man helps against listlessness

We women do not need a new pill for our desire, we just need a new guy. In contrast to men who find their wife sexually acceptable even after tens of years, it seems normal for women, after less than five years, to have no more desire for the well-known by their side and in their bed. Shared living accelerates this process a bit more. The book by the American Daniel Bergner ("The hidden lust of women"), which has just been published in Germany, confirms this perceived truth. Believing the author and recent sexual studies, the price of a monogamous relationship is the woman's libido.

In the long term, nothing helps against female listlessness - except for a new attractive man, who unfortunately still is not on prescription. And since Madonna's famous saying, "I prefer young men, they do not know what they're doing, but they do it all night," there's been a lot of change in sexual evolution.

I speak from experience: As at parties the age can be assigned relatively clearly by dance styles, the perceived age revealed in bed. The Best Ager's performance is at best experienced, at worst the sexual equivalent of her dance style to "I can not get no satisfaction" by the Stones. They themselves see themselves as "connoisseurs", as foreplay is considered a three-course menu with red wine. That the clitoris is not just lying there by chance in women, they have indeed understood in the course of their love life, secretly keep the part but still for the emergency parachute, the nature has graciously left for less well-stocked men. Definitely not for her. Your goal is to get a durable erection and use it - as long as possible, as long as possible.

Since this generation is generally practiced with the writing of balance sheets, CVs and failures of all kinds, however, it happens that one is the endless boredom with "This is Tantra!" tries to persuade. And as in the professional world, they do not want to realize that their expertise is slightly outdated and that the younger ones might be better off. They reject training, at least for themselves.

After all, they do not take their smartphone to bed to check with the third eye SMS, to pay attention to incoming mails and maybe even as a reminder to film a movie for the 100 best friends.

My new personal field of experience has been focused on the men's generation that grew up with music videos and youporn, and I've seen a significant leap in sexual development to the generation of best-agers. For these men, in their mid-thirties, neither the Internet nor the female body is new territory.Self-confident, body hairless and creative, they combine right places and movements that it's just such a pleasure. Since today every internet-enabled young man has completed at least a distance learning of the most common hotspots and techniques, you will also find excellent kissers among them who are blessed with all the refinements. If you google "Tutorial + Kissing" alone, you will get almost 60,000 instructions in a matter of seconds, and even 54.1 million results for "Tutorial + Sex". And since children come into puberty earlier and earlier, the education in elementary school is already so offensive that already seventh-graders giggle hysterically when the maiden name Gloria is read by a new teacher as "G (dot) -surname" on the list. But that leads now too far away from the topic.

I was at a party the other day. And then I realized that there is a limit. When a friend told me afterwards that the just 20-year-old son of another friend, who had been serving at the party, found me "hot", I did not feel the slightest desire to find out what the sexual practices of the "Generation Internship" are. You do not have to try everything.