"My child has nightmares about Boko Haram attacks"
Terror has kept Nigeria under control for months. There is still no trace of almost 300 students abducted by Boko Haram fighters in Chibok in April. Even the worldwide protests under the slogan #BringBackOurGirls did not lead to the girls being rescued. Recently, the news that the government had agreed to a ceasefire with the Boko Haram made the members hope. But this was destroyed. Instead, there were more abductions. And a few girls who were able to escape report cruel acts by the perpetrators.
How do you feel in a country that is paralyzed with horror and increasingly losing confidence in its own government? We talked to Lola Shoneyin about that. The writer lives in southern Nigeria with her family. In Germany, her book "The secret lives of the women of Baba Segi" has just been published, in which she tells about everyday life in polygamous marriages.
Born in 1974 in Ibadan, Nigeria, is a poet and author. Her work includes three volumes of poetry and two children's books. Her debut novel "The Secret Wives of Baba Segi Women" was on the longlist for the "Orange Prize for Fiction 2011" and won the "PEN Oakland Josephine Miles Literary Award 2011". Having worked as a teacher for many years in Nigeria and abroad, Shoneyin now lives in Lagos, Nigeria and organizes the Ake Arts and Book Festival.
© Habie BlackMs. Shoneyin, you once said in an interview that Nigeria is "a land of men who worship women." But it is also a country where men do horrible violence to women, as in the case of the Boko Haram. How does it fit together?
Nigeria is a very complex place with almost 300 different ethnic groups. There is the terrible scar of colonialism here and currently a wave of religious fundamentalism. We have often seen in history that people have done unspeakable things in the name of religion. But what is happening in Northern Nigeria is horrifying. One has to say that not only women are treated brutally there, but also men. But, of course, it is particularly disturbing to attack the most vulnerable in a society - young women who, in many cases, have been working to gain a different status through education.
After the first wave of protests, here in Europe we hear only occasionally about the fate of the kidnapped girls. How do media and people on the street deal with it in Nigeria?
The normal people on the street are petrified with horror. There have been many peaceful demonstrations and some still gather each month to protest, pray and remind the government that the Chibok girls must be brought home. The tragic thing is that we will probably experience more such crimes. In recent weeks, more and more young girls have been robbed. It is impossible, in the face of this, to feel no grief, fear and worry. But also anger. The Nigerians want their government to do more. They demand of the rulers a language from which compassion speaks.
What does the government in Nigeria say if, after all these months, it has not been able to liberate the girls? And even more abductions allowed?
It shows that the work of our security and intelligence agencies is inadequate. It also shows weakness, awkwardness and lack of political will. Only a few days ago, the government announced that it had negotiated a ceasefire with Boko Haram. Not even 24 hours later there was a bomb attack, and shortly thereafter a new video appeared, in which the leader of the Boko Haram denied a ceasefire. So who did the government talk to? With the dummy of a Boko Haram mediator? The way in which one tries to act against the terrorists can only be described as listless.
How come the families of the abducted girls with the terrible situation? Do you get adequate support?
I only know what dedicated Nigerians report on social networks. There are many people who help the families and somehow try to make waiting for good news easier. I believe that the relatives also receive some form of government support. But most of all, they are helped by the emotional support in their community, and, of course, the sympathy of an even greater number of people around the world. It is therefore crucial for those affected that the protests and rallies do not stop.
You lived in England for a long time and then decided to return to Nigeria with your family. Have you regretted the step after all these events?
No not at all. Your home is your home. For my daughters, who have an English grandmother, they are just two home countries.You do not just withdraw your loyalty just because your team is losing. Nigeria is going through a difficult phase that caused it. But things will get better, one way or the other.
But are not you also afraid of your own safety and that of your family?
I spoke to acquaintances about it recently when my youngest child started having nightmares about Boko Haram attacks. It did not surprise me to hear that other parents have similar experiences with their children. I tell my son as little as possible about the terrible events, but he gets enough of it at school. I also try to make him realize that his nightmares are another reality for another child. This uprising and its accompanying bloodthirstiness will become a dark spot in our history, even though we are not directly concerned about our lives at this time.
The lives of women in Nigeria are also influenced by the polygamy you write about in your new book. Why is polygamy still so widespread in Nigeria?
A recent demographic study found that 33 percent of Nigerian women live in polygamous marriages. That's a pretty high value. I think the reason for this is widespread poverty, which in turn comes from a low standard of education and a large number of people without qualifications. Of course, there is also the religious aspect - Islam allows plural marriage if the husband treats all women equally. But in Nigeria it's also a cultural thing. Polygamy rarely occurs because two people fall in love. It's about trophies, exploitation and sheer voluptuousness, the desire for financial security and the pressure to become a Mrs. Anybody.
As a rule, these marriages are not forced, but voluntary. Why do women choose such an archaic form of marriage?
Many simply have no perspective and not the luxury of making a different choice. If there is an alternative, hardly a woman will voluntarily opt for polygamy.
"The Secret Life of the Women of Baba Segi" (352 pages, Edition Book Guild, 22.95 euros) is the strong and fascinating story of a wealthy African family that is going through a crisis when Patriarch Baba calls the young and well-educated Bolanle fourth wife brings in his polygamous marriage. Not only is she fiercely competitive, she also threatens to unravel the secrets of the other three women.
And those who do - what does it matter to them to live in a marriage with several competitors?
I have spoken to many women in Nigeria who live in polygamous marriages or have grown up in a polygamous home. Polygamy is a disappointment especially for the first women, they are often bitter and for good reason! For most of them expected at the wedding that her husband would take another woman. Most of the women here are very attentive to all the wishes and requirements of her husband. When he marries a new woman, it means that the current arrangement was inadequate and unfulfilling. For a wife it is devastating to have to accept that she is not enough for her husband.
So here, too, it's about the oppression of women - do such cultural customs ultimately encourage the emergence of brutal terrorist groups? The Boko Haram treat the abducted women and girls like slaves.
In those places where women are worth little more than the meat on the buffet, where they are treated like property or ware, in those places the men are hardly better off either. They too are the victims of the circumstances. Of course, powerful men and women should do more for people living in regions of great poverty. They have to offer them a better future. That's why groups like the Boko Haram have so much to offer because they offer a pay and three meals a day.
In your book you show readers something they rarely see: the perspective of women in the male-dominated world. Do you think that your book can change anything in Nigerian society?
My novel shows readers an example of a polygamous family. I focus on issues like jealousy, sexual abuse and insecurity. The book is based on a true story. Both my father and mother grew up in polygamous families, so I have a good idea of how such relationships work. Of course, we have often experienced in history that books can influence the minds of entire generations. Many people tell me the book is an eye-opener. Others say it is instructive. For me it simply tells the story of people who are in a hopeless situation.
What do you think needs to happen to improve the status and situation of women in Nigeria?
We need more education for the women. Education has an incredible domino effect. It ensures that the women themselves are better off, their families and the communities in which they live. At the same time, it gives women strength, self-confidence and more perspectives. This is very important.
