sex
May 8, 2024

Expert explains: That's why Virgo is suddenly in vogue

At the end of 20 still a virgin? Sounds unusual! After all, kindergarten children today already know more about sex than Donald Trump on geography (okay, no art? Keyword "Belgium is a beautiful city").

But knowledge and practice are just two different pairs of shoes, as a large-scale study shows: In a survey of 16,000 millennials from the years 1989/90, in 2016, an impressive 13 percent of them said they were still virgins. So every eighth 26-year-old has never had sex? at least, because some of the interviewees did not give any indication.

For comparison, the generation X (born 1965 to 1980) was interviewed and there was a very different picture: In this generation, only one in 20. was to have been a virgin by 26 years. The virginity rate has more than doubled within ten years.

Reaction to oversexualization

Can this be? Especially in the free-spirited, taboo Generation Y, in which not even someone would batting an eyelash, if the guy from Jackass in string thong would walk along the beach promenade? Yes! Says relationship coach Dominik Borde. The Austrians are not surprised by the austerity of the Millennials.

"This is a completely natural development: every trend is followed by a counter-trend," says Borde, "if you are constantly confronted with sex, always want to be and be open, the charm vanishes and your lust passes." In addition, what is exemplified in most porn is fueling expectations and pressure so that in many, the fear of disappointment becomes so great that they would rather forego sex altogether? whether consciously or unconsciously.

Abstinence due to lack of self-esteem?

"Women should be beautiful, well-trained, sexy and sexually open-minded, and men are expected to be fit, to be fit, potent and masculine, and then to be sensitive and sensitive again," the relationship expert points out. That overtakes many.

Dominik Borde is relationship coach and offers support in dealing with a wide range of problems through his company Social Dynamics in Vienna Singles and Couples. He also observes in his daily work that many of his customers' difficulties result, among other things, from virtually generated competitive pressure and media oversexualization.

Besides, according to Borde? Surprise ? the well-known phenomenon of social media plays a role (you already know: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Because the fact that we constantly see on the net, how beautiful the others are and how (supposedly) everything works well for them, many suffer from self-confidence. And those who do not feel comfortable with themselves are, as you know, difficult to allow intimacy to others.

Of course, it is up to each person to decide when he or she first has sex. And there's nothing wrong with waiting! But if, as Borde says, fear and pressure of expectation are the reasons why people miss out on the nicest thing in the world, that would be kind of sad ...