Status: No calls, only WhatsApp !!! ? My fear in front of the phone
Tragically, the most beloved and hated item in my life is one and the same. Yes, I am telephone schizophrenic. Cellphone schizophrenia to be exact. Because: of mine Landline phone ? how that sounds, so scary fallen out of time ? I do not even know the phone number. No joke. When it rings, I just hope that as fast as possible answering machiner (Shudder!) Starts. Then I stand paralyzed next to the old bone and listen, like my grandfather birthday greetings on the tape (seriously?) speaks. And now only the real problems begin: How do I inform Grandpa now that I have received his greetings and have been very happy about it? Because: Grandpa does not have a damn smartphone, let alone WhatsApp!
The phone screams, my pulse soaring
Call back now? Totally impossible! I just wanted to go to the sport and the laundry is waiting, the tax would have to be made. This evening! Deferment impossible! My heart beats faster. Okay, okay? morning? Maybe by mobile phone on the bike back from work? This time is somehow always dead anyway. But what if I just want to relax for half an hour? You also need work-life-balance and stuff. Maybe I'm lucky and he will not answer. But have I already done my duty? After all, his corded phone with the large buttons not documented my desperate message attempt. Then this painstaking approach was completely in vain all day long! And anyway: what's wrong with me? It's just a goddamn, ten-minute call!
Calls are selfish!
Now to my other side: I love to write messages. 10, 20, 200? Everything better than fifteen minutes on the phone. And I answer as well as always right away. People who need three days to get feedback: What's up with you ?! You can do that really fast everywhere. In the train, in the supermarket in the cash register, on the toilet. Just everywhere, where I fucking DO NOT want to call. Because I'm driving, waiting or just wanting to be alone. And that's also the core problem I have with the phone calls: It always tears me from what I want to do myself right now. Selfishly, the annoying ringtone just pushes me to the top of my list of priorities. "Take off!", It screams. "I am very, very important!", It roars on. Therefore, I always assume that an incoming call can only be an emergency. Accordingly, my voice sounds rushed when I actually go to the phone: "Yeah, what's up ?!". The disappointment on the other side is then always great: "Oh nothing, I just wanted to hear you!". My mobile is always silent now. You can write me, if there is something important. I'll call you back. Well. Perhaps.
Attention: emergency!
"People, everyone stays calm, but I was just in the garage and the, er, burn!" Announces my colleague this morning, stepping quickly entering the editorial office. "I guess the fire alarm starts right now," she guesses. As if it were not your own, I watch as my hand is on the phone in seconds. "Oh what an honor, YOU CALL ME?" "Yes," I say dryly. "Now comes the emergency I always talk about." Silence. "Your car is down in the basement ...?"
End of song: car saved, fire extinguished. And the certainty: If it REALLY burns, I can still do that with the phone. I just do not want to.
