society
May 20, 2024

Re-entry: "I do not appoint women with children"

Children were my heart's desire

Having children was an absolute wish of my heart. But I became a late mother, at 36. I traveled a lot, I enjoyed independent life. My partner also wanted to wait.

After high school I learned a nurse and also worked in the profession. But then I realized that I wanted to take more responsibility. At that time, the new study course "Nursing Science? set up. I studied that then. Unfortunately, although I graduated very well, I found it difficult to find a job as a nursing host. In fact, after a long time and with luck, I got a trainee position as an assistant to the management of a large hospital group. But after a month I was terminated due to operational reasons, so I slipped into unemployment.

In the meantime I was in my mid 30s and I thought: I do not care what the profession is, I just want kids right now. My partner was now so far. In 2006, at 36, just before my 37th birthday, I got my daughter. I was overjoyed. Finally a child.

I quickly realized that I liked being a mom and would like to be with my daughter. I wasted no thought about applying quickly to return to work. All my friends, acquaintances and neighbors worked after one year at the latest. I was already aware that I drive a different track than other women. But I just knew: I want to be with my child. I do not want to give up my daughter. I got on well with her, even though she was my first child. It was a very, very happy time.

My children were more important to me than the job

We then tried to have a second child. That did not work, which plunged me into a pretty deep crisis, because I wanted a second child. When my son was finally born three years later, it was a huge gift for me. I thought, of course, I stay at home, I enjoy every minute. That's what I've discussed with my husband.

My daughter went to kindergarten at three and a half, but I did not want to put her into full-time care. I was glad that I had her back home in the afternoon. She was tired, she was stubborn and I wanted to be there for her. I did not want to leave my children, and then get back into the treadmill of working life, just so as not to miss the connection.

The very experience that I was dismissed from my job after having been permanently employed for a month has shown me that nothing is certain in the world of work. You can still work so hard and believe you would be indispensable. In the end you will be terminated.

"You have to meet the employers"

When my son turned three and went to kindergarten, I started looking for a job again. I searched for a year.

Then I found a job in a pharmacy where I put together medicines for hospitals. I did that in the morning, so that I was back home in the afternoon. The job also made sense because I was able to use my medical knowledge a bit, even if it was not well paid. I did not get along with the boss, so I quit after a year.

Then I really looked for a long, long time. At the employment office I was told: "You have to be flexible, you have to meet the employers." The employment office has also sent me to various events on the return of women to work.

I also got offers from the employment office. But they were always hard to realize. For example, I got an offer to have a night watch during her break, from 10pm to 4am. I would have worked six hours at night, but the next day, because you're tired, would be confused. Badly paid was the job too. I would have preferred to work whole nights instead of just a few hours.

I also got offers from temporary employment agencies. However, they had only jobs in clinics that were further away. How should I start with two children at six o'clock in the morning in a city 20 kilometers away? The roads are too far, I can not go there. I pretty much hung myself in, looked and looked, but there was nothing useful.

My two jobs now bring me 300 euros

Coincidentally, I passed a laundry looking for a 450 Euro force. For half a year I actually worked as a bookworm in the shop. But then they told me that I was too slow. Then I represented the housekeeper in a hotel. But after six weeks, I was also terminated.

Through a neighbor, I got in touch with a woman who wants to know her mother better, because the increasingly dementing.In addition, I clean cottages. The job is very flexible, if I have time, I can work. My two jobs, which are registered, bring me together so around 300 euros. I would much rather have a better paid job with firmer working hours.

The employers are inflexible - not the mothers

When I trained as a nurse, I was convinced that this is a good bread job that always earns you money. Unfortunately that is not the case. Not if you have two small children.

I have telephoned or written to all hospitals and outpatient care services at our place of residence: "I have time from eight to 13 o'clock. During this time I can reinforce you in early service. But I only got cancellations. It said, "We need someone who is totally flexible." I also heard: "We already have enough women with children in the roster. We will not hire another mother.? The head of a nursing home told me on the phone smoothly: "I do not hire women with children."

The outpatient care services also want people who are as flexible as possible. I asked: "Can not you knit a shorter tour for me as a mom, so from eight to one o'clock?" I got the answer: "No, that does not work, that creates too much displeasure in the workforce, because the others then want such tours."

It can not be that you have to adapt children to working life. Working life has to adapt to the needs of children. In this country, one should not make it clear in the working world that one has a family.

Other well educated mothers go cleaning

I have the feeling that nothing is moving in the job market. Which is not only up to me. Other women also have good education and go cleaning because they can not find anything else.

One of my friends is a forwarding agent. Your son is in first grade right now. Even she finds nothing, gets to hear: "We can not hire you. What do you do when your child is ill ?? She does not even find an office job anymore, even though she is only out for a few years. That can not be true. She has not forgotten anything.

There is something wrong in the system when well-educated women with children no longer find qualified work because they have dropped out for a while. I also can not believe that there is a shortage of skilled workers, not even in the care, when I hear this in the news, I am amazed. If so, I would have a job long ago.