Properly arguing: Strife must be

Get in the mood:
the mental preparation. Use your lousy mood and connect them with your partner's characteristics. Stress in the job? Imagine how much more relaxed you could handle it if he did not always drop the hairs on your toothbrush when shaving. Take enough time to become convinced that there is a connection between your problem and your quirks.
Choose the time:
the suitable situation. Time pressure and tension provide pressure and a low aggression threshold. Take care of a situation in which both are given, for example if he has to leave for the job interview in half an hour. But be careful that your bad mood does not peak and begins to fade.

Strike: the first sentence. Open the battle with a reproach. The phrase "Can you tell me why you ..." has proven useful, followed by the flaw of your partner you have focused on. Make the other responsible for your lousy mood.
Torment slowly: the dramaturgy. From concrete situations to general character defects - from two slices of sausage on the bread to a lavish lifestyle. Use excuses as a transition: "It's so easy to do it, back then ..." Digging out older, deeper-seated problems.
Charm like a pro: the rhetoric. Controversial professionals rely on a series of phrases that blame the other: generalizations ("you're always / never ..."), exaggerations ("you're the most outrageous person I know!"), Third-party judgments (" My mother also finds ... "). Threatened to go out the ammunition, grab the rhetorical murderer: "You just do not understand me!"

Be loud: the tone. Loud and fast speech makes you aggressive. Watch in-room pets: If they leave the room, they hit the right note. Even a pronounced benevolent-therapeutic tone, opposite to the excited verbiage of the partner, has an escalating effect.
Create an unpleasant conversation climate: Facial expressions and gesturing. Avoid eye contact, cross your arms and legs so that the partner realizes that you are not interested in his arguments. If you are both sitting, you should get up and vice versa: Equal eye level signals attachment and could be de-escalating.

Be annoying: on dealing with conflict deniers. Your partner evades? Do not let go! Insist on "having to talk it out". When the other one is leaving, nothing like afterward. On the open road, you can even argue in front of an audience.
Let it crack: the escalation. Now it's getting exciting, and that means palpable. Of course, only to objects - and those that are particularly close to his heart: heirlooms, old photos, hi-fi equipment.
Be careful: reconciliation. Remember that you do not want to scare him off but just let off steam. It is important to calm him down without extinguishing the source of conflict: he should always remain easily flammable. Have proved gifts or sex - the main thing, you are silent what happened dead. After all, this should not have been your last fight.