Blind Date: "I've met more than 100 women"
Jörg ter Veer was looking for a divorce after mid-40, a new partner. He tried a lot and had more than 100 blind dates. We interviewed him about the best dating tips, over 30 parties and dildos.
Barbara.de: How did your book come about?
Jörg ter Veer: After my divorce, my life should be nice again, also in terms of love. Did I do a lot of online dating online? and that got pretty turbulent. At some point I thought then, I'll write that down.
But you have not directly online gedatet?
No, I tried different things. My first attempt took place at a Ü30 party. I had imagined that relaxed and relaxed, but it felt strange and terrible. Especially since I ran directly to the entrance of a neighbor with her mating sister on the way. It was really the opposite of a relaxed Saturday night. I went home relatively early.
"The jump into the cold water is part of the blind date"
Do you think that it is more difficult to find a new partner after a certain age?
No, I would not say that flatly. On the one hand, of course, you have more experience and you know what you want and what you do not want. On the other hand, of course, you have to muster the courage to deal with new situations, as well as the jump into the cold water is one of them. You have to learn to take some setbacks and build resilience.
You have often jumped in the cold water. How many dates did you have in total?
I did not count them exactly, because the whole thing should have been designed much more short-term, but I had a total determined more than 100 blind dates.
What did you learn?
It's best to call once before the first date and not to write e-mails forever. I think you have to transfer online dating to real life as fast as possible. Otherwise the head cinema starts and one imagines things that are nonsense. The first date should be a short meeting, not a long sumptuous dinner? otherwise you will not get away afterwards. I was always able to tell from the gut very quickly whether the woman was suitable for me. Over 90 percent of the ladies were really nice people, many contacts were promising, touching, some also told me shattering stories. I liked some of them, but to fall in love, there's more to it.
"I needed 40 dates to meet my first girlfriend"
But you did not let yourself be discouraged.
After the first three months, I was already a bit exhausted after my desired candidate did not want. I had to take a deep breath. I needed about 40 dates alone to find my first girlfriend.
Now you have the third relationship after your dating marathon, which has been going on for four years ...
Yes, that came about because we met twice. We had a date a couple of years previously in the context of dating, but then it was probably the wrong time. She did not want to, I was not sure. Years later, she discovered me again in another portal and wrote me again, without knowing that she actually already knows me. And then we realized that we are the right people for each other.
"The first blind date was bad"
It took a while until you found the right one. What was the worst date you had?
My first blind date. That was very bad, I call the woman now the "dildo biker". She also cycled? like me ? I liked that. However, she already wrote to me in the third post that she was at a dildo party. At first I just found it strange that she writes me something like that, even though she does not know me at all, but I did not want to rate that. However, I would have known beforehand that it is not for me, if we had phoned once. Her very hoarse smoker's voice fell into exaggerated laughter after every second remark and then ended in a rattling smoker's cough. That was terrible. And her photo had suggested youthfulness and esprit, but in reality she was kind and slow-laced and told me all her CV. After that, I had a few blind dates that shook my head, but the first date was by far the worst. Actually, I should have stopped after that, but I do not.
Would you suddenly be single: Would you make such excessive online dating again?
Yes, I would sign up again at a dating site. I think you should really throw everything in the balance for a happy ending in love.
© nele_fotografieJörg ter Veer was born in Dusseldorf in 1963 and lives in Heidelberg. Looking for a partner was a bit complicated for the father of two at the beginning between job, household and child, meanwhile he is a professional. and has lived in a relationship for four years.He met his girlfriend online dating. In 2017, his book "How to survive divorce" was published.
"We should get to know each other! A true 99% true story about my breathtaking dating after the divorce" costs € 12.99 and has been published by Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf Verlag in 2018.
