Tupper Horror Deluxe: Why I hate the tins
Tupperware? Hate sentences that start with you. Are always lies: Tupper cans are beautiful, Tupperdosen are cheap, Tupperdosen are indispensable and terribly practical. The truth is: Tupper cans are terribly awful. The T-word lets battery acid shoot through my veins. Causes headaches, terrible headaches, shaky hands and twitching eyes. When I hear the T-word, I am closer to a nervous breakdown than to my own innards. Twenty cans, twenty-one, twenty-two? Each quite, urgently needed when portioning, categorizing, evacuating. Indispensable for the preservation of soups, vegetables, sausages, cheeses, fruits and principles. Everything has its place with you, is located in a kind of Periodic Table of Insanity, belongs here purely or purely in there, but always in a thermoplastic plastic box. Never pack, never again a meat salad in a can, which you provided for carrots? peeled and cut three times: once in the middle, twice in the longitudinal direction.
I tried, I really did. But only this smacking closing noise when I push down the lid on one side? and he immediately popped up on the other one again. Always, over and over again. A plague. The beasts multiply like bacteria, clogging the arteries of the household: refrigerators, dishwashers, drawers. Open a door and, clack-clack-clack-clack, I feel like in a ball pool. With no fun.
I am unable to close drawers. There is no feeling, no violence. With you the cans are like matryoshka dolls in and next to each other. For me, T-tins like Tetris play with round stones. Pointless. There are the things in all colors and shapes: small, large, medium, flat, high, low, wide, narrow, round, square, pointed? They even exist in banana form. B-a-n-a-n-e-n-f-o-r-m! Try to get an apple in there!
I got loud I'm sorry. What are you saying? What, please, the alternative to Tupperdosen should be? Alufoil about? Or cellophane? Diabolical laugh on your part. "Or what do you do with your leftovers ??, you ask. Diabolic grin on my part. Because that's the moment when you finally understand it? Which leftovers?
