Do you always have to be the focus?
Are you already in the center again?
The party is coming to an end. In the kitchen, Julia sits in the middle of a group of guests and tells of her vacation. Not that Ibiza was particularly exciting. But Julia likes to talk. An evening that does not pay much attention to you is a lost evening. Nevertheless, later she will wonder why it puts her in the spotlight. Why did not she just chatter and chat in peace with her old friend Mario, whom she has not seen in such a long time? In itself, it is not bad to like to be the center of attention. But if you have to profile yourself even against friends, you are quickly depressed when the recognition is missing. And: "Anyone who constantly pulls off a show is unlearning to really open up, and relationships and friendships are becoming more difficult," explains Stuttgart-based psychologist Christof Schuster. Always want to play the lead role, always on the hunt for attention - "some want to polish their ego in this way," says the expert. "But such a self-expression can mean great stress, especially if one of the personality structure rather the reserved type, but this pattern has gotten used to."
From uncertainty, fleeing to the front
In French, people who always want to be the center of attention are called "Mastuvu" (in English: "Did you see me?"). These people believe that self-esteem depends on whether they arrive well and how they fare in comparison to others. Exaggerated selfishness is therefore often comparable to its apparent opposite, shyness. The feeling of their lack of self-confidence is met by "limelight addicts" fleeing forward. "In its most pronounced form, this behavior leads to the clinical picture of the so-called histrionic personality disorder," says Schuster. Those who suffer from them tend to have a theatrical, affected self-expression and, in extreme cases, even with suicide attempts, demand the respect of their fellow human beings. It is true that such a disturbance is rather rare, but certain features also manifest themselves in less serious cases: for example, people who speak first in every conference because they want to be admired by the others.
Silence, even if you had something to say
Anyone who discovers such behavior and suffers from it should make it clear that one's own value does not depend on the judgment of other people. "You can make the decision to accept yourself as a person independent of the feedback from others - and develop composure," says the psychologist. A good exercise is to sometimes consciously withdraw. To be silent about a large round, although you are well versed in the topic of conversation. Schuster: "Alone, by making a game of it, you regain a bit of sovereignty and is no longer so caught up in his old behavior pattern."
