Are you still allowed to be "only" housewife and mother today?
"Last weekend at a party:" And what are you doing, "a woman asked me, with whom I had just talked for half an hour on our first CDs and tight-fitting parties." I'm a housewife and mother? "Said And then you slipped off the facial features. "Well, you've got your hands full," she replied a bit tormented, looking at me as if I did not have all the cups in the closet, after which our conversation was pretty quick completed.
I got used to such reactions. That does not mean that they annoy me less. Being a housewife and a mother has no value in our society today. Often it is equated with antisocial, lazy and a bit stupid. For what reasonably intelligent woman is already choosing this voluntarily?
Does the housewife and mother no longer have any value?
I. Fully aware. Not because I had no alternatives. I had a job I liked in a research firm. But I wanted to give my kids the best start in their lives. I have wished for them that they grow up full of self-confidence. That there is always someone there for you when you need it. That they feel safe and secure and have a constant in their lives. And that's what I wanted to be. That's why after the first year, like most, I did not return to work but stayed at home.
My mother was a single parent. She always had to work a lot, it could not be any other way. So I was alone a lot. I was missing a closer bond with my mother. I used to be jealous of classmates eating lunch with their mom. Or who roared out of her room on dates? Mama, we're thirsty !? and immediately came a tray with juice, sweets and fruit around the corner. My classmates sometimes twisted their eyes and said, "Ohh, it's really annoying." But I also secretly wanted such a mother.
The modern housewife: It's self-determination!
Some women pretend that my decision to be a housewife and mother is an insult to them. A punch in the face. As if I wanted to do away with all feminism. But feminism is about self-determination! Because we can do exactly what we want today. And I do not want to make a career, but to take care of my family. Full time.
"Do not you want to realize yourself ??, my girlfriends often ask me. Of course I want that. But I do not equate self-realization with a 40-hour job, a great car or a lot of coal. I want to see my children grow up. Every day. I'd like to show them how to tie a bow, comfort them when they've upset one at school, and give them all - why - questions? answer that come to their mind. You have to be able to afford to stay at home. My husband and I decided to indulge in this luxury. At the beginning we had to budge financially. When our daughter came, my husband had just started his own business. But it has always been enough for the bare essentials.
As a housewife and mother you do not earn money
"Does not it bother you that you always spend your husband's money and have no own ??, once asked me a friend. And yes, I've already bothered with that for the first time. But then I put a switch in my head. Because I am working the whole day. I manage the family, the finances and the household. I'm the one who does the volunteer jobs in his day-care center and the school, and who brings the granny soup over when she's sick. I have a full time job. Just not one who is socially insane recognized.
I take it for granted for my children. Because I'm always there. Because I'm not the mom who goes to work in the morning. I will never miss. For that, I annoy all the more. I'm the one who scolds, who educates, complains, says the kids are supposed to clean up their rooms and distribute punishments when they're nuts. That is exhausting. I do not like the Mecker cow. And a? Thanks? would be nice too. But I'm probably still waiting for the next 30 years. Until my children have children themselves.
