Your introductory story reveals how long you stay happy
The first encounter, the first date, the first kiss ... Hach, who of us does not like remembering how he found his lover? Tell someone the story, the butterflies fly again as on the first day. But would you have thought that it says something about your relationship HOW you tell the story? At least that's what psychology professor John Gottman says.
In his experience, couples who are happy for a long time very loving and detailed in the we-form. "WE were skating then, WE saw a movie and kissed us the first time, when ...". It is typical that the partners then complement each other. Quite different with couples who later split up: they talk rather in the I, Er and you form and kept little details. Mostly tell only one of them. "I was skating with him then, then he invited me to the movies and kissed me for the first time when ..."
Why does that make a difference? Gottman's Theory: The Way to Tell the Entertainer Story Expresses how to relate to his relationship. The descriptions reveal, for example, whether you are more focused on the good or bad sides of the partner and whether you feel that you belong together. Who lovingly describes in the we-form, which combines a lot of good with the partnership. Makes sense, right?
