What we say feelings
Udo Baer
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Why can we sometimes understand our feelings so badly? Are we deaf?
Udo Baer: When people have not been trained to suppress certain feelings, all feelings become noticeable. You can see that in the emotional spectrum of children: when they are sad, they howl - but they are often denigrated. This is a cultural and a educational matter. Many have learned that feelings are something like bad breath that you do not care about.
Gabriele Frick-Baer: Many people are also ashamed of their feelings.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Would not it be much easier if our feelings could really talk to us?
Udo Baer: That's exactly how it is. Because if I understand a feeling, then it can change, I can start to make a difference. If I lock it up, it knocks and tugs, then it becomes sustainable and bitchy.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Are there any feelings that roar particularly loud, that you can not ignore?
Udo Baer: Relatively loud is always love. It may come in silence, but I have never seen a person who is in love and did not realize it.
On the next page: The jealousy mumbles
Gabriele Frick-Baer
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: And which feelings mumble, so are particularly complicated to understand?
Gabriele Frick-Baer: The first thing that comes to my mind is jealousy. It's often a battle theme in relationships, blaming each other, but rarely do couples really look for the causes of jealousy. Among colleagues, it is the envy that is particularly difficult to address. He is an absolute taboo.
Udo Baer: Loneliness, for example, is not a party topic, because people find words very difficult. The same goes for the shame.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Are there gray mice under the emotions? Which feeling is always underestimated?
Gabriele Frick-Baer: interest. This is a completely underestimated feeling it is already perceived by hardly anyone as such. It is so important because it gives us many impulses, brings things from the inside out, drives us.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Which feelings do we most often hear about?
Gabriele Frick-Baer: Disgust is one of the most unpopular feelings. Another, really unpopular feeling - rightly so - is the hot temper because it is very destructive, as well as hatred.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: What happens if you do not listen to a feeling for too long, maybe over years?
Gabriele Frick-Baer: Then emotional disorders often turn into physical ones.
Udo Baer: Emotions are impulses and guideposts for our everyday life. When I completely or partially reduce it, stun it, exchange it, I miss these impulses. If you can not talk about his feelings, then the dog gets it, the children. The "feeling of numbness" can occur. That goes classically to a depression and loneliness.
On the next page: What feels good
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: Maybe we just do not want to listen to some feelings, because they hurt us a lot.
Gabriele Frick-Baer: It can even be vital not to allow feelings. When a person has experienced something that they can not stand, such as abuse, then a feeling must be split off, as a coping strategy.
Udo Baer: The feeling is gone - and it is not gone. We often experience that. There is a lid on it, but there it shivers underneath. Then the feeling comes out at completely different corners, in the physical condition or in the social behavior.
Gabriele Frick-Baer: It can be very painful to find it again.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: And how can one find a feeling, listen to it again?
Udo Baer: By going on the search and is ready for it. By talking to people about it. But sometimes it comes unexpectedly, you go into a movie - and suddenly the feeling is back. Or you sit in the car, listen to music - "our song" - and everything comes up again. The most important thing is to give room to the emotions and to get used to the feelings. If we are mindful and open to our own feelings, then we will get along much better with the others as they feel. We are not emotional clairvoyants, asking questions often helps.
Gabriele Frick-Baer: More questions would make a lot of clarification and simplify matters.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: When does one need professional help in search of his feelings?
Udo Baer: Decisive is the subjective suffering. Especially with feelings, everyone has their individual scale.
Gabriele Frick-Baer: If you need help, remember it too, especially if you think of "always" sentences: "I always fall for the same men" is one such example. If someone notices that something is repeating over and over again, only rarely can friends or friends help. Then they are often stuck patterns that really need professional help.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde.com: How can we treat our feelings as well as possible?
Udo Baer: As much as possible, be mindful - for yourself, friends or your partner. Looking for people with whom you can also exchange intimate times. This is the best psycho-hygiene with which to prevent problems
Gabriele Frick-Baer and Dr. med. Udo Baer are both certified pedagogues and creative lubrication therapists. Together they founded the future workshop "therapie kreativ". Both have been working in therapeutic practice for many years.
The ABC of feelings Udo Baer / Gabriele Frick-Baer Beltz 14,90 Euro
