Unknown girlfriend
Between gray clouds, high above Tallinn, I imagine it again. Funny eyes, black mane, a chubby woman. Smaller than me. That's what she looked like in the picture she mailed. What I know about her? Leah is her name, Lea Phihelgas. She lives in a suburb in the south of the city. I know her phone and mobile number and her age: 52. Her hobbies are people, nature, architecture. She likes to go to the movies, dances in club waltz, tango and foxtrot with Endel, her friend, and has been part of the five W organization for five years: Women Welcome Women World Wide? Women welcome other women from all over the world.
I chose Lea from the catalog of this organization. One of around 2500 women from all over the world. I was particularly curious about Estonia.
Lea has been teaching kindergarten for 12 years, studying pre-primary education, learning psychology and school management and modern leadership methods. The abbreviations with which it was presented in the catalog? Ch, Hw, NS? meant: Lea has children, would also welcome my husband and is non-smoker.
At the airport is not she like her? but pictures can be deceiving. I'm not blond anymore. I appeal to women who, like me, look around helplessly. Lea? No, sorry, I'm Barbara. The airport empties. It's gray and wet outside. As I think about going to her by taxi, a woman with black hair and an orange shining coat approaches. That is her. "Sorry," she says, "no parking out there, Peter is waiting in the car." Peter is Leas oldest son, 31 years old, economist and project manager of a small company. Leah is important that his name is written German, not Russian, Petr. The little "e" stood at her birth for her desire, the occupied Estonia may open to where the people are called Peter. In order not to forget any of the languages she speaks, she speaks German with me, with English English and French with French. Lea, I'm learning this week, has two knights by her side. Endel, the friend, and Peter, her son. Should I go shopping, I ask Lea. No, Endel can do that. Should I call a taxi? No, Peter can drive us. A bit, says Lea, men are also there to make life easier for women.
Walk in the old town
We buy meat for dinner, Potatoes, fruits and beer in a supermarket of gigantic size. Two soccer fields under neon light. Estonia has been part of Europe since May 2004. That's a good thing - but must the coffee, soap, toothpaste and shampoo be the same as ours? Globalization is a pretty boring business.
Peter drives us to Lea's residential area. Before we get off, he puts an iron immobilizer around the steering wheel. Afraid of thieves? Peter gives the visit from Germany the first lesson on everyday life in Tallinn. "You're from your apartment, the office, the supermarket, and your car is gone, so what are you doing?" Call the police, what else?
You go home and wait on the phone for a call from a man who offers you your car for half the price, the man who calls you is not the thief, just the stooge of the thief even a criminal stooge - so the real culprit remains in the dark, so we buy back our stolen handbags, cars and dogs. "
Dinner at Lea's family
Mustamae is the name of the district where Lea lives. Three-story prefab, a legacy of the Russian occupiers. One block looks like the other. In the staircase, the paint crumbles, Leas front door is locked electronically. Two rooms, small kitchen, small bathroom. The living room is Leas dining in the evening and her bedroom at night. Since Peter no longer lives at home, the second room belongs to Kaur, her 17-year-old son. Kaur is a Urestnian name that needs no extra "e".
Kaur is a silent boy. "Do not worry about him," Lea says. "Kaur only gets up when he's hungry, has to go to the bathroom or to school, otherwise he's on the internet." As long as his grades are in order - she checks them regularly on the school network - she lets him surf as long as he wants to. That costs almost nothing in Estonia.
Lea's apartment is small, but her property. Under the Soviets, each Estonian had five square meters of living space. 15 square meters for three people - who, like Lea, had more space, did not even need to advertise a larger apartment. When Estonia became independent in 1991, all those who worked in the occupied country received this time from the new Estonian government. That was Lea's 20 years and that was about the value of her apartment. With the money left, she bought her mother a piece of land. Politics can also be creative.
Lea leaves for the night, sleeps in the week I'm with her, at Endel, leaves me the sofa bed. Peter goes to his girlfriend. "Take a look around," she says. "There's not much to see, and everything in the fridge is for you." It is quiet in Kaur's room. No steps, no rustling, Kaur is on the net. In Lea's cupboard, behind the glass windows, are crystal glasses, thick photo albums, novels by the great Estonian poet Jaan Kross, novels in Russian, French, English. Gottfried Keller in German. Lea also speaks Finnish, a language she did not have to learn because she is very similar to her mother tongue. For the Estonians, Finland was the window to the world during the 50 years of Russian occupation. On Finnish television they saw news that state television did not allow in their own country, and there were American feature films.
Lea's memories - these include pen pals from all over the world.
For Lea, history is more than book knowledge. History is the life of her mother as a bus driver. The life of her grandmother, who gave birth to nine children, and her own life. Lack, prohibitions and censorship, as long as she can think back. And the knowledge of the consequences of the Hitler-Stalin Pact, which began in 1939, the Soviet terror in Estonia. 60000 people fled to Sweden and Germany. On the night of June 14, 1940, 11,000 Estonians were abducted to Siberia, hardly anyone came back. When German Wehrmacht forces marched into Estonia in the late summer of 1941, they were celebrated as liberators. But the Russians recaptured Estonia and, especially in the cities, what they call Russification began a massive resettlement of Russian workers to Estonia. The proportion of Estonians in their own country fell from 88 to 61 per cent in the years of the occupation. Russian became a school and official language. Before some sentences Lea must take a deep breath. "Estonian letters were called fascist because they looked like German letters!"
While walking through the old Hanseatic city, on the medieval town hall square of Tallinn, she portrays the beginning of the "singing re-volution". It was in August 1988. The human chain that extended from Estonia to Lithuania was 600 kilometers long. One million people held hands. They sang their own songs in their own language. The Estonians have sung the occupiers from the land. Three years later, Lea's country was an independent republic.
"Freudennest" is the name of the kindergarten in which Lea works
As a tourist guide Lea is perfect. In the old town it knows every Gothic trading house, every Renaissance facade, every Baroque church, every monument, old legends and legends. She knows all the occupants between the 11th and 21st centuries. Lea has trained as a tour guide so that she can see foreign countries during the holidays and, instead of spending money, can earn a bit of money. As head of a kindergarten with 56 employees, she does not earn 500 euros net per month. I get into Leas everyday life. I get up at six, make coffee, Lea comes to Endel for breakfast at seven. On the first morning she put four fat sausages in the pan. Does the guest have to eat what comes to the table? There are Limits. I said cautiously, "Eat 'em, we have breakfast here differently." Lea laughed: "I can not get those things down in the morning either - we'll fry them for Kaur, he likes that." On our first morning, we realized that it's nonsense to talk about the Germans and the Estonians. So: We do not eat sausages in the morning, but I do not. Other Germans already. Lea also not. But Kaur.
Her kindergarten is called Rõõmupesa, "Joy Nest". The Freudennest is a women's shop. Also in Estonia, men are not kindergarten teachers.
Lea puts her bag in the office, closes the door electronically and begins the day, as always, with a walk through the house. See if everything is alright. She does that calmly and kindly. For most kindergarten teachers, she is more of a friend than a supervisor.
Although there are 200 children in eleven groups spread over two floors, in Leas Freudennest most of the time concentrated rest. It is being fobbed outside, in the playground, inside is learned. Learning is called anything that children need. "When they get to school," says Lea, "they can already read, write, calculate, play music, play games, eat with a knife and fork and communicate without fear with other children and adults." The syllabus, she explains, is not artificial, it comes straight from life.
Monika and Lea in Mustamae
In Lea's study there is an aquarium with lean goldfish - Lea feeds her rather irregularly. A desk, a PC, a sofa for a visit. There, while Lea is doing office work, I learn the first words in Estonian: Tere - good morning. Palun - please, very much. Tänan - thank you very much. Ma ei saa aru - I do not understand. Behind Lea hung big pictures of her sons on the wall. Peter and Kaur in oil. They do not see each other like that. Lea grins. The two have two fathers, none of them was married. For what too. One did not suit her, and the other just did not understand why his son's mother always wants to learn so much.
After work, Peter or Endel, one of their chivalrous men who has just time, drives us by car to the sea. We brace ourselves against the wind, run through rain and fog. My week in Estonia does not have many sunny days. No matter. The coast behind Tallinn is gentle and wild, the landscape wide and lonely. Running and talking go well together. Leah wondered about many things. "Never say you're proud of Germany." That sounded almost reproachful. I mute trying to explain why I can not get the words "proud" and "me" and "Germany" out of line. Do not understand Leah. Such a beautiful country! Rich and clean. The people are friendly and polite. I beg your pardon? Yes, Lea finds us politely. She has heard that in Germany the builders say and thank everyone they receive for every stone they pass on.
A girlfriend had read about the idea of "5W" in the newspaper and told Lea about it. She was immediately enthusiastic, searched the organization on the Internet and signed up. Since then she has had visitors from England, Belgium, France and Australia. She drank coffee in the city with two women from Stockholm and gave tips to two Americans. Lea is the world champion in making friends. At the age of twelve, she began to break the narrow world of censorship in her country. The first girlfriend was Gaby from the GDR - the desire to visit them, she had to justify a commission. About Gaby came Thomas and Reinhard in their lives, Sabine and Klaus. Through dating ads in youth magazines she found Albert from Azerbaijan and Ivan from Bulgaria and the whole gallery of glut-eyed young men sticking in their album. Was she never in love with one of these guys? She asks confused, if I could love a strange man? - Why not. For the Eston Lea, love is only with a man from Estonia. On the last night, she shows me the thick folders in which she records everything about her friends: when she sent a letter to who, who took a picture of her, and who she used to exchange actors' postcards with. Romy Schneider vs. John Wayne. Jean Gabin against Grace Kelly.
In the nature
A guide to her friendships also includes the list of topics she has written about. Movies, teachers, school. The first friends, the study, the profession. Later, the men and children joined. For Lea, every contact was a win and a blessing to Luzia. At that time Kaur was two years old. "He screams every night for ten hours," she wrote the pen friend to Münster, "as if he had gone through the fire in the previous life." Luzia sent a questionnaire, Lea filled it out. Luzia sent homeopathic globules to Tallinn. Kaur could sleep, it was like a miracle. The greatest miracle, however, to Lea was the selfless friendship of a woman she had never seen before.
The women's network with the five W could have been an idea of Lea Phihelgas.
The organization 5W
The organization 5W was founded in 1984 as a worldwide women's network by the Englishwoman Francis Alexander. The five W stand for Women Welcome Women World Wide? Women welcome women from all over the world. The basic idea is not the cheap holiday trip, but that women travel, get to know and understand each other, make friends and help each other on their travels. The organization has around 2500 members in over 70 countries. The youngest member is 16, the oldest 90. Most women speak English and / or French in addition to their mother tongue. Membership fee per year: 60 Euro.
Info
www.womenwelcomewomen.org.uk
Contact by phone and fax in England: 00 40 (0) 14 94 46 54 41
Contacts in Germany u. a: Christa Sendner Stuttgart Tel. 07 11/85 12 60 E-Mail: 5w.sendner@gmx.de
Almuth Tharan Berlin Tel. 01 77/811 77 96 E-Mail: almuth_tharan@yahoo.de
