To the Schlapplachen: The best Kinderwitze

The best kids jokes to click through!

In the haunted house

A man goes to a hotel and asks, "Is there a room left here?"
The landlord says: "Yes, but there it haunts."
The man takes the room anyway. In the evening he goes to the bathroom, then he hears a voice call: "I sit under you and want blood from you!"

The man runs away startled.

The next day, his wife comes to the hotel and asks, "Is there a room left?"

The landlord says: "Yes, but there it haunts".

The woman takes the room anyway. In the evening she goes to the bathroom, then she hears a voice call: "I am sitting under you and wants blood from you!"
She runs away startled.

The next day, the child of the two comes to the hotel and asks: "Is there still a room available here?"

The landlord says: "Yes, but there it haunts."

The child takes the room anyway. In the evening it goes to the bathroom, then it hears a voice call: "I sit under you and want blood from you!"
Then the child says: "I'm sitting over you and need toilet paper!"

The old man

"Mom, can you give me 50 cents for an old man?"

"Yes, with pleasure, Heini, I am glad that you want to help an old man, where is he?"

"He's standing in front of the department store next door, selling ice cream."

Fritzchen and the playpen

Little Fritzchen is on his way to the attic. Once there, he sees the old playpen in which he often crawls as a baby. He storms down again and shouts: "Mommy, Mummy, we'll get a new baby soon!" "How did you get it?" the mother asks in astonishment. Fritzchen: "Well, the trap is already set up!"

riddle

What is the opposite of Japan?
Neinpan!

Fritzchen on the phone

At the Muller family the telephone rings. Fritzchen answers: "Hello?"
"Hello, this is Herr Meier. Is your mum there?"

"Yes."

"Can I talk to you?"

"No, she's busy right now."

"Is your dad there?"

"Yes."

"Can I speak that?"

"No, he's busy right now."

"Is anyone else there?"

"Yes, the police."

"Can I talk to one of the policemen?"

"No, they are busy right now." "Is anyone else there?" "Yes, the fire department."

"Can I talk to one of the firefighters?"

"No, they are busy right now."

What the hell are they all doing? "

"They are looking for me!"

riddle

What does 7x7 do?
Very fine sand.

In the car with dad

Four-year-old Ben is allowed to take a long drive with Dad. In the evening at home, the mother asks: "Well, you two, how was it?"

The little one is totally thrilled: "Great! We have overtaken two horned oxen, a blast cup, six candelabrums and a full idiot."

riddle

Why does the policeman need a pair of scissors?

To cut the way for burglars.

Max and the calf

The farmer asks little Max: "Would you like to know how a calf is born?"

"Oh yeah!"

"Well, first of all the front legs are out, then head and shoulders, then body, and finally hind legs."

Ask Max, "And who will make the cow out of it?"

Fritzchen and the polar bear

Teacher: "Why is a polar bear white?"
Fritzchen: "If he were red, he would be called Himbär."

riddle

What do you call a bear who sits screaming on a ball?

KugelschreiBÄR.

Fritzchen and the punishment

Fritzchen asks his class teacher: "Teacher, can one be punished for something that one did not do?"

"Of course not, that would be unfair."

"Good," says Fritzchen. "I have not done my homework!"

riddle

What do cars like to eat most?
Park cookies.

Ghosts on job search

Meet two ghosts.

The first one says: "So, did you get the job in the restaurant now?"

The other says: "Yes."

The first one asks again: "As a waiter?"

The other answers: "No, as a tablecloth!"

The broken vase

Paul smashes a big vase in his uncle's apartment.

The pale uncle stammers: "The vase was from the 17th century!"

Then Paul relieved: "Thank God, I thought she was new".

riddle

What is white and crawls up the mountain?

An avalanche with homesickness.

Student joke: monitor

The German teacher asks his students: "Who can tell me if it's the monitor or the monitor?"
Fritzchen answers: "It's actually THE monitor, but when Moni scores a goal in football, it's called THE Monitor."

riddle

Where do cats live?

In the Miezhaus!

New bicycle

"Hello, Ute, how's your new bike?"

"My new bike does not work, it drives."

"How is it going?"

"It works."

In the bus

A grandma shows the bus driver the ticket.

"That's a children's ticket, my lady!" Notes the bus driver.

Says the grandma: "Since you can see how long I have been waiting for this bus?

Escalator with dog

Sign in the subway station:

"Dogs have to be carried on the escalator!"
Passerby: "And where can I get a dog in a hurry?"

riddle

Which pastry knows the answer to everything?
The Google-Hupf!

Flat joke with sheep

Two sheep meet in the meadow.

The first one says, "Mow."

Says the second: "Mow yourself."

vote

Klein-Erna: "Doctor, I always hear voices, but I do not see anyone."

Doctor: "When does that happen?"

Klein-Erna: "Whenever I'm on the phone."

riddle

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
floor

magic word

Max is sitting at the breakfast table and wants to have the jam. His mother asks: "What is the magic word called with two" t "?

Max: "Fleet?"

Kids, do you know that?

Kids love jokes. And they love to tell jokes. You can spend whole car trips reciting one joke at a time? and like the same again and again. In contrast to us adults, it does not bother them at all if they already know the punch line with grandma and the banana switch. You can still go over it again and again.

When do children even understand jokes?

Of course, many children have humor as babies (for example when Dad makes a funny face). As soon as they have learned to speak, they also giggle about language jokes (about twisted words or the like). Right jokes with punchline be in for them Kindergarten-age interesting, so from about four years: The children hear, mostly from older children, the first simple jokes and of course continue to tell.

The most fun jokes usually have Primary and first readers ? Now that they are finally able to read, they are constantly finding new joke material in children's magazines or joke books. Especially popular with them, then, of course, the student jokes that they can transfer well to their own lives.

Do children have a different sense of humor than adults?

Many jokes about the kids giggling like crazy ("And Fritzchen understands: 'Touch my breasts, touch my breasts! Hahahahaha!') Just cause a weary smile in adults. In fact, little children have a different sense of humor than the big ones. Often she makes even the act of telling jokes laugh so much that the funny punch line goes down or is completely forgotten. So in the beginning it's the same social componentthat teases children by joking: They notice that they can tie others up with their jokes, that they are listened to? and in the end all laugh together.

In addition to the gross mischief, especially taboo topics comic potential in children, as the Germanist and humor expert Stefan Hauser told T-Online: "For the younger - as with my son - that's the toilet humorSo everything with pee, Kacka and all these stories. At the age of eight to ten years, the sexual taboo areas come into play. Then it also shows how the joy of breaking the logic and norms is slowly becoming apparent. "

But children are also very popular Scherzfragen and so-called flat jokes, The more absurd the punchline, the bigger the Lachflash afterwards.

Where do you find good kids jokes?

You can not hear the same jokes at the dinner table? Then we recommend you Jokes Books (For example, "My fat joke book" by ars edition or "The most beautiful jokes and puzzles for first-time readers" by Der Bücherbär, Arena Verlag). Joke books have the advantage that elementary students practice reading at the same time as they browse through it.

A good source for funny kids jokes is of course the net. children's pages like spick or Jokes pages like Witzepause.com or Programmwechsel.de collect the nicest jokes of their readers.

Of course you can too Inventing jokes yourself - best with your children! Scherzfragen after the pattern "What is red and sticks to the disc? - A sucker!" you can easily think of yourself. And your children will have even more fun telling them. And again, and again, and again ...