The Bachelor-Rosenbrüder are united. Or: Three "pussies" bring the mental apocalypse!
I thought so far, Johannesch, his name is chronic language phobics and walking Popeye parody, was my biggest problem with 'Bachelor in Paradise'. I was so wrong! Because only with his bachelorettes Sebastian and Niklas in tow the trauma is perfect. The Rose Brothers are back? I only care for my nausea.
But we would not be in paradise paradise Rammel hell, if not soon first clouds on the RTL sky would raise. Because with the entry of Niklas the pressure on his two buddies increases. (Yeah, I do not just mean the competition pressure!) The Glatzenhirni, who looks like he joined a Mexican gang in a jail, kept an eye on Carina.
And especially the Seb find it only so semi-cool. Niklas, however, would not be the Niklas we know and dislike if he had no suitable answer to his colleague's courtship game:
Attention, now it's going to be ordinary. So NORCH ordinary!
"Do you stick your finger in my ass, dude, then I'll lick your mouth." Any questions? So I have one: HÄÄÄÄ? Believe me, the last thing I want is to think about this sentence, but I just do not get it. So if he puts his finger in his butt ... why his mouth ... Well, that's the logic of the Rosette brothers? this is only understood from an IQ of 50 downwards.
But what I understand is his little addendum: "You slip from one woman to the next, who are you here, the hooker, or what?" Can I answer this question directly? with a very clear YES!
It will only be more demanding again when Johannesch officially opens the Bible lesson at the Flitzpiepen camp. Of course Niklas ("You are Judas!") Starred in the lead roles because he made a date with Carina in spite of the "Dead End of the Rose Brothers" Mimimi threat, as well as John and Sebastian aka Jesus, because they sulk at it as if someone had put a Pupskissen on the beach chair.
Psycho-Niklas admits: "I'm a 'pussy!" ? And I have no objections
However, this date can not be ruined by Psycho-Niklas, which is what RTL will do after all. On a boat (again no party boat? Sorry, Carina!) It goes out for the two to the sea for snorkeling! It's just silly that our tattoo victim does not like fish. Upsi! "I'm a pussy, I fuck 'em that way!" (Does not the bet run?) Who says the F-word most often wins, dear producers, just give the boy his Find-Nemo-DVD and it's good!)
Surprisingly, with Carina he can not score with his cunt either. Instead she discovers a frightening parallel to Bitchelor Daniel Völz. "Daniel complained that he was not allowed to wear a cap, Niklas is afraid of fishing, what's next, someone who's afraid of clothes?" So someone like you, Carina? There is already a name for it: 'Adam is looking for Eva'.
Seb and Viola are so much in love with each other
Meanwhile, Sebastian has other worries. The man made facial hair has found that Viola is not her thing. During a date in the couple's suite, the fitness trainer suddenly fell like a dandruff from his eyes: Viola slows him down in his spells. WOAHT ??? That's not possible! Since the boy has been trying for almost a year to make himself heard and his macho blabber and then comes out of this estrogen pile and is about to destroy his hard-earned self-marketing strategy. Pooh!
Even Johannesch does not like his freedom - that's why Tschööö Schwenja!
Rosenbruder Johannesch can understand this all too well. As a sought-after stallion in a Bachelor's stable, he also has to break the heart of a blondie. Did he lick Schwenja last week in the best carp-style and so many a 'mid-life' spectator a TV orgasm brings, he now wants to know anything more about her. He does not want to know she's always on top of him! (Yeah, right!)
"I do not care that there's room for it, you want to be more woman, less poodle." Hach, these are the problems of a yacht salesman with porn glasses. Svenja does not seem to know that Johannes is also a lingerie designer, otherwise she would tie him to her loft bed and jump on it.
Michi is actually too pretty for the shit! NOT!
How good that a potential new candidate is already in the starting blocks: newcomer number two, Michi! You remember? That's the one from Jessica Paszka. The one who supposedly could not land at the Bachelorette because he has such a great style. Oh, I love these self-reflected people. But the main thing is the chicken breast is freshly shaved and the Gel-Tolle casually concreted skyward ...
Before Schwenja can test out the most popular knot techniques from her how-to-bondage guide, Michi has a date with the Mauled Viola. And it is not the first time that the two run into each other's arms. They have already met in Hell's Paradise and swapped their ICQ numbers for a miss vote. Oh oh! In fact, this whole 'Bachelor in Paradise' is a big incest event.
Of course that does not disturb Viola? and Michi certainly not, the first time his ego can be brought to fruition. "I can see that she looked at me in a crush and that there is more with her already." Buuuh, this beginner! Yeah, dear Michi, you've been in paradise for a minute, after all. Viola is planning your wedding and Domenico and Evelyn are getting child number 12.
"In my brain is love and air!"
Speaking of Domenico and Evelyn, the dream couple of the trash story, a duo like Yin and Yang, Dumb and Dumber or Ketchup and Mayo. Even with them, things are not going so well. Evelyn flirts with Christian alien? and Domenico draws his conclusions: "That's shit psychic stress, it pisses off mixed, you're so open to humanity." (My speech? Always open and always ready!) Domenico enough? he does not want a rose from Evelyn.
Spoiler: Of course he gets one anyway, because: "He's in my brain, the Domenico, there's love and air in my brain." And I believe that even!
The Rose Brothers are history. Ok, ciao ...
Incidentally, no rose got Niklas (oh, how schaaaade !!!) and Johannesch (nee, how blöööööd !!!). This is the Rose Brothers of Ballermann putt! Oh, and Jörg is out. No idea who that is. He was gone as fast as he came. Was maybe on the suspenders from the 60s ...
But before we finish the whole thing, here's a little question: You also saw Johannes and Niklas standing in the shower naked and spanking their asses, right? I was not sure if Nik's above-average use of fecal language temporarily paralyzed my brain. All I know is that these pictures have burned to the farthest corner of my skull. Thanks for nothing!
