My Tinder Diary
"Try that, you'll love it!" With the euphoric words of a very dear friend, my Tinder adventure began. Already in the evening I gave in to my curiosity and the app landed on my phone. Then the first shock: The registration works only on Facebook. In my mind I see my profile full of online dating posts. Bad enough that Mark Zuckerberg and the NSA know everything about me, but I really do not have to share my love life with all Facebook friends. Message to my girlfriend: "Tinder wants to access my FB profile !?" Answer: "Do not worry, the app only draws photos, interests and your friends list - you can not see anything about Tinder on your profile."
I am reassured - and a few minutes later a member of Tinder. And now? I'm telling the app that I'm interested in men, how old they are, and where they're supposed to be. And already appears the first potential candidate. A swipe to the right means "hot", to the left "not". Not my type. I pull his picture to the left with his finger and it disappears with a "Nope".
Next, please! It does not take long for a photo to catch my interest (I have to agree with my girlfriend - there are really many damn good guys on the way). I tap his picture and get shown more photos. In addition, I can see if we have common interests or friends. I swipe right: "Liked"!
Unlike the well-known online dating sites, I can only write to a man if he has liked me too. When that happens, I get the message "It's a match! You and xy stand on each other." And that's great! Because even with the first message, you know that you are visually good. And maybe, whether you have common friends or interests. But not more. May sound superficial. But let's be honest: In real life, but first decides the exterior. And personally I prefer to get to know a person bit by bit, rather than having a profile in advance with answers to questions like "What do you think of loyalty?", "What's the relationship with your parents?" or "What are your erogenous zones?" to study.
Contrary to popular beliefs, Tinder is not a platform on which to date to fast sex. Although you can in the evening in the bar or in the club to see who is nearby, but without a "Like" the other is just no contact and no date possible. Nevertheless, Tinder, which translates into something like Zündstoff, has already caused quite a stir in my life. The yield after two months: 68 matches. I had bizarre chats, connections, where it was clear that you are optically interesting, but otherwise not so on a wavelength, and also a few scripts that make you want more. And yes, even in real life there have been encounters - but I will keep the details for myself. And even the boring, strange or crazy chats are still better than sitting alone in front of the TV at home.
Tinder is fun, fast and, above all, relaxed. The app does not offer Mr. Right a questionnaire, but easily creates the opportunity to meet people. You can not influence the further course of events anyway - no matter if you have met by chance in the supermarket or if Tinder helped your luck a little bit.
Here are some of my craziest Tinder experiences:
The emoticon fan?
L. I think is really hot. We match, I write to him. He answers, garnished with three grinning smileys. We are writing a little bit and his messages are getting more and more colorful: they are full of emoticons. In the end, he even managed to send whole sentences with little pictures - without a single word. That may be a gift, but it will be too colorful for me.
Conclusion: no happy ending?
The checker
The power button of my cell phone is broken. I go to a small repair shop and put my phone in the trusted hands of the Turkish repairman. I'll come back an hour later. He, surrounded by five friends, sees me and roars through the shop: "Hey, I'm also with Tinder, you do not need to look any further, you just take me." His friends applaud, I turn bright red.
Conclusion: The nice repairman, by the way, about two heads smaller than me, was unfortunately not quite my type. But his appearance was terrific!
The pervert
"Now you're sure to get the most direct and bizarre question, do you like sperm, I need a woman who does not waste a drop, who eats, drinks and freezes to suck on it like an ice cream."
A few days ago, my girlfriend got exactly the same message from the same guy. Either this is his fetish or he has a strange kind of humor.
Status: I do not have to continue at this point ...
The confused
C.is currently in the middle of the move - for professional reasons. In this context, he sends me the link to his website where I can see what he will do in the future. The imprint contains his full name. We continue sporadically. He has a lot to do because of the move. Then I do not hear anything from him for a few weeks until he suddenly calls one evening. I am prevented and write to him later, whether he has consciously called or if this was a mistake. He called on purpose. I think that's great! I'm curious, I want to know more about him, see more pictures and ask him if we want to make friends on Facebook. He hesitates: "It's not that easy, miss." I think he wants to play, make himself interesting. So I ask. Then he has to go to bed all of a sudden. I finish the chat with "Good night, Mr. F." - and I realize that I know his full name and also his Facebook profile. He does not react. For two weeks I hear nothing from him, then he calls without warning again. I will not answer. Since then radio silence prevails.
Conclusion: freaky behavior! I think he has something to hide. Maybe I'll call him in two years and ask.
The sex hungry
When S. and I write for the first time, he is on his way abroad. A job date. I ask him the next evening if he arrived well. Answer: "Yes, just a little lonely here." Me: "It's a pity that your appointment did not take you to Hamburg, so we could meet for a drink." Then he sends me a picture of his erect penis' with the following text: "He is so hard and I would like to ram him in your mouth so hard now that the saliva runs out on the sides." Hossa! Where is the charming man from the previous evening? I reply that this is too blatant for me. He apologizes and asks me to delete the picture. Something went wrong with him. I say, "It's okay." Short break, then he writes again: "I want to lick your nipples now, so they get really hard." While I'm still thinking about how I can make it clear to him that I do not feel like sexchat, he comes before me: "You're out ..."
Conclusion: Well, what should I say? I'm out...
The persistent
A. and I are writing back and forth and then switching to Facebook. His profile is pure self-expression. I'm not on it at all. Then the message: "Hmm, you are delicious!" It's late in the evening. I'm going to sleep. The next morning I find a new message: "Do not you like to be tasty." My answer: "No!" I remove him from my friends list. He writes to me at Tinder: "Why have you been lost to me?" Me: "Sorry, your world is not my world!" He: "You have to make a decent irony discount on my postings." I ignore him. He's trying to attach me to Xing, sent me a new Facebook friend request, sent me his mobile number on Tinder, and invited me to a bike tour.
Conclusion: What exactly is a "No!" actually so hard to understand?
