Is it happy to be slim?
Recently my friend K. had a really bad day. It started at seven o'clock in the morning when she had to decide whether to have breakfast or to go to work soberly because she had dug in the night before in our favorite restaurant. She chose option 2, as compensation. In the morning, a colleague then gave out chocolate cake. My friend ate half a piece out of politeness and felt bad afterwards, because she had not even lasted the self-imposed fast for three hours.
For lunch, she ordered steamed vegetables with herbal quark as a punishment - did not taste good, but was great for the calorie balance. In the afternoon, on the way home, she grabbed a ravenous attack, in the train station kiosk, she snatched a Snickers from the pack and wrapped it down greedily, which made the amygdala in her brain immediately sounded: help, bad carbohydrates! So she dragged herself to the gym in the evening, then made her body with a bland eggshake and ignored his angry growl, until she finally fell asleep exhausted.
Have you ever been looking forward to a gastrointestinal flu?
Sounds slightly disturbed, do not you think? Maybe it seems somehow familiar anyway. Do you also know how many calories a croissant has (250)? And have secretly been looking forward to a gastrointestinal flu, because it decreases so beautifully? Welcome to the club!
According to a study by the University of Wisconsin, 93 percent of women daily deal with their figure. More women than ever before are dieting, never before have so many trained in gyms, and according to a survey by pollster Gewis, nearly three-quarters of women would sacrifice 10 points of their IQ if they could compensate for a blemish.
There are websites on "thinspiration" where you can find ideas on how to get thinner, and forums for teens who swap tricks so their parents do not realize they are anorexic. In America, there is even a separate term for the small negative remarks that show how much our body cares about us: Fat Talk. He sneaked into our conversations unnoticed, but also in films, books, magazines. "Fat talk is a disrespectful treatment of the body and the food," says Alexandra F. Corning, psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame, Indiana. "Women mutually agree that it's okay to hate your own body."
The paradox: It has nothing to do with how thick or thin we actually are, but only with how we see ourselves. Affected are almost all women. The skinny ones, because they have to endure jealous glances and spells - and the fat ones all the nasties of this world. But also the normal weight, whose pounds are invisible, because they only stay in shape with plenty of sport and even more self-discipline.
Today I go jogging instead of eating cake. It is a constant renunciation.
You may find it stupid to live in a world where it's more important to fit in tight jeans than to eat with friends in the evening. I do too. But it is true: Most of us join in the daily slimming contest. Why? "Because everyone wants to do it and we want to belong," says sociologist Waltraud Posch. "Most people do not want to imitate models, most of them want to be part of the general body trend, do not miss the connection and have as many options as possible with their beautiful looks."
To research this article, I talked to many women about slimming and contentment, with thinning, thinning, with women without a waist and women with fat aprons (that's the skin on the stomach that's left over after losing weight - a very popular topic in Fat Talk). The bottom line: All of them regularly think about their character and pay attention to what they eat.
"I do not believe any woman that she feels really good when she's fat, that's what you're talking about," says a friend who has just lost 15 pounds. Another says, "My charisma and self-esteem have been better since losing weight, but I keep asking myself, Is not there more going on? Compared to others, I still feel fat." The pressure to continue weight loss is constant "Being slim can make you happy, but it's also a lot of work and a constant fight against myself."
A colleague who lost 12 pounds last year says: "Today I go jogging instead of eating cake, it's a permanent waiver, it does not make me happy, but whether I met my friend ten kilos more on the hips and a lousy self-esteem? No idea. "
It is above all this contradiction in us that gives slimming terror so much room. On the one hand, we hate the permanent bad conscience and the tedious self-discipline. On the other hand, we love to look in the mirror when we are just happy with our figure. On the one hand, we are feminists: we fight together to ensure that women receive the same pay as men and the same opportunities for leadership. But good feminists do not make a diet - and others do not finish just because they carry around a few pounds too much.
We do not want to be reduced to our appearance and are annoyed that women are still often judged by their looks rather than the power of their brains. On the other hand, we put on make-up, wear nice clothes and enjoy compliments - which of course we would never admit publicly, because it does not fit the image that we ourselves want to have.
Incidentally, the experts call this cognitive dissonance: we have different emotions on a topic that are incompatible. Why do not we just admit that it feels good when the body is firm and taut? And yes, I say that now so openly, even if it is politically incorrect and superficial: that slimming is actually happy?
If I care about a good figure, what am I willing to give up?
Maybe sincerity is the first step. A slim, muscular figure is important to me. It shows: I take care of myself. And I'm happy to live in a time when there are so many opportunities to get my body in shape: gyms on every corner and every type of personal trainer you can connect Skype anywhere in the world can, fitness apps and counselors without end. Never before has it been so easy to move and eat well. Nevertheless, many do not get it.
Maybe it just does not mean enough to them. And that's perfectly okay, if you honestly admit it. The key question is: if I care about a good figure, what am I willing to give up and invest in? Do I like to eat a Franzbrötchen in the morning and go jogging for 30 minutes? Or do I just come to terms with the small role that may perhaps be playing around my waist?
I'm annoyed by friends and colleagues who complain to me that they do not have time to do sports as often as I do, and say in the same breath that their scales are showing a few kilos more. I think then: Put your priorities differently. I also have two kids and a job, but I can get it to the gym twice a week and twice to run in the woods. For me, sport is like brushing my teeth: quite naturally integrated into my weekly routine and not self-mortification or self-indulgence, but fun and a need.
Of course, that requires discipline. Sometimes money if I have to get a babysitter. And an attitude: Do I really want a slim figure, with all (sometimes uncomfortable) consequences, or rather a figure with small blemishes and a lot of enjoyment? I opted for the former long ago. And find: It's worth it, because I eat chocolate and cake, if I feel like it, and feel comfortable in my body. By the way, sometimes two kilos too much draufhat, if the holiday was nice.
