Bumpy Relationship Start: Give Up or Run?

In short:

Yes why not? But if it bumps away forever, we should ask a few questions.

Now in detail:

Who declared today that he would choose his relationship partner from his parents, because he trusts them better judgment in love affairs, who would be sent to the psychotherapist? probably from your own parents. Instead, we entrust the most important decision of our lives to fateful emotions.

We trust the romantic infatuation and even love at the first (Tinder's) view. We are looking for something that will make our love inevitable. Because if we have no choice, we do not have to decide anything. If we do not have to decide, we can not go wrong. And if we can not choose the wrong one, then we can not mess up our whole optimized life. In the beginning there should be some magic in it that carries us through the whole relationship. Therefore, nothing should bump.

Love at first sight is rare

Only this is an illusion. Cupid's arrow rarely pierces us immediately. How often do we fall in love only after months or even years in someone with whom we have long been singing in the same choir, working in the same department that we meet again and again at the celebrations of the friends. Maybe we could not stand each other, found him boring and so not our type.

But since mutual affection has arisen, we suddenly find all sorts of reasons why we have previously overlooked each other. We mean to remember positive feelings that we just never lived. And discover in the coincidence of having discovered each other at all, a magical, fateful event. Basically, so many relationships start "bumpy". Which is not a problem at all, as long as we then develop a secure bond with and undisturbed love feelings to each other.

Emotions are sometimes contradictory

But if our love life continues to stumble and we never get beyond a "yes" inside, then we should ask ourselves why it is: We may actually just stick to the relationship because we do not want to be alone , Or we have unrealistic fantasies about the great love and the ideal partner that hinder us. Or we're scared and we're always emotionally withdrawn. Living true love is not as easy as the romantic myth of love promises. Our emotions are complex, often contradictory, rarely unique. They are not black and white, but colorful.

Bumpy relationship beginning can weld together

We understand relationships far too much as the assembling of puzzle pieces. As if we only had to find the right part that exactly suits us. But in relationships, we change each other. We would be someone else if we spent our lives with another love. A bumpy relationship start prevents us from feeling like the puzzle pieces created for each other. We doubt our relationship more easily because we can not counter our doubts with fate. But who finds "bumpy" to each other, can also find in it the myth that bears the love. After all, do not we overcome obstacles that we have overcome together in a special way?