"Then you are so beautiful" - does that have to shock a woman?
For all those who did not notice: The network world is once again split. People are discussing a Facebook post of Berlin Secretary of State Sawsan Chebli, in which she reported on an incident that she said in shock has shifted.
The incident goes like this:
Chebli is to speak as Secretary of State at a meeting of German-Indian society. Apparently, she comes a little too late and then sits down (in a hurry?) On a vacant seat in the first row instead of on the reserved for them. Hans-Joachim Kiderlen, a diplomat who does not know her, says: "The Secretary of State is not there yet, so I would say we'll start the speeches anyway." When Chebli announces himself as State Secretary, the diplomat says, "I did not expect such a young woman, and then they are so beautiful."
As I said: This incident has put her according to their post in shock. Although she often experiences sexism, she has never experienced anything like it.
What are people discussing?
That Chebli has not experienced anything like this, is it? since it has shocked her after all? First of all, good news. But what exactly is "something like that"? Some are quite Chebli and evaluate "something" as sexism. The others think it's a compliment.
In any case, everyone is right: by discussing it. It is obviously important that we address such conflicts. Where does sexism begin? Where does niceness stop? Can we ever overcome the tensions between the sexes? Do we have to overcome them to live in an equal world?
'Well meant' is not yet a successful compliment
Surely the diplomat meant well with his remark. But well meant is far from good. There is evidence of superficiality that Kiderlen finds surprised when the undersecretary is young and beautiful. He should get used to it better that young women can be anything? and beautiful as well.
By Kiderlen? unasked, in a frame where it has no business? makes a judgmental comment about her looks, does he make Chebli small? although he says something positive. Would he have said something like that to a young man? Certainly not!
That Chebli was shocked by the not appropriate to the situation comment is her thing and okay? Nobody can tell her how she feels. That Christian Lindner handled it differently, as was always talked about his good looks in the election, is also no wonder: Men are usually not sexually harassed, repressed or raped. Therefore, they have the right, but little reason to be sensitive to something.
MUST we always be the same now?
But let's be honest, is not it? comprehensiblyThat some women in Chebli's situation would simply not be shocked at all? That they find Chebli's reaction exaggerated after reading another tab, how Jennifer Lawrence was humiliated in Hollywood as a woman?
Yes, politically correct Kiderlen's remark was not and it testifies to a gender role understanding that we no longer want. It is legitimate and committed to denounce that and it would be trivializing them as compliment to book.
Unfortunately, for centuries, men have learned how to stop women from opening the door, giving jewelry and complimenting their looks. That they can not turn that off from one day to the next? we have to deal with that.
If we are all screaming and shocked at sexism every time a man reveals his superficiality and backwardness to us with an actually well-intentioned inappropriate statement, we will not be able to get out of the shock. In the worst case, we even dull, so that we no longer shock cases like the one in Hollywood.
Let's just hope that the penny will soon fall on men and women, that we do not need any feedback for our looks. Because (self) appreciation based on the appearance is fleeting and fragile.
As for Kiderlen, he has since apologized to the State Secretary. Whether exaggerated or appropriate - has her post so definitely something.
