"I want to be more courageous"
The starting point
Dr. Silke Zellmer, doctor, 44, from Hamburg
Actually, Silke leads a successful life. After working as a surgeon at the hospital for 13 years, she joined the medical service of health insurance three years ago as a consultant. She has this job under control. Although she feels that it is time to develop her career, she keeps pushing that desire. Other things seem more important. But in the end she just does not have the courage to compile the documents. Among other things, because she believes to have no chance against the younger with her 44 years. Their own needs often do not take them seriously enough and can be taken by surprise by others. Even when she is private, she sometimes shies away from challenges: when she first fulfills the wishes of her fellow human beings instead of focusing on herself.
The personality trainer Nina Stiewink, qualified pedagogue and business coach, Hamburg
Silke always demands perfection from her childhood. She should replace her inner impulses with caring thoughts: z. B. "Be perfect!" with "Good is good enough!", "Be strong!" with "request for support!" and "please others!" with "Care for you!". It is best to note these sentences for reading in a book. In order to draw strength from overcome crises, Silke has reviewed past times of upheaval: the birth of her son or house building. She asked herself: what did I do then to master the situation? Managing difficult situations encourages new challenges. A crucial step for Silke was to use the sentence "It's important to me ..." to share her wishes with others. Determination grows when we start small and then grow up. Because small successes encourage the courage to make major changes.
The voice trainer: Isabel Garcia, graduate spokesperson and trainer for body language, Hamburg
Silke wants to be more courageous in the future. It helps to slow down, to move more consciously. While walking, Silke often did not feel her own body because she walked too fast and was completely lost in thought. Now she should set her sights firmly on every spot and every street and then walk upright and slowly. Silke will be calmer and more competent. However, that does not mean that she can destroy her head posture: she frequently leans her head like a child who has to get her approval. A straight head pose radiates courage and determination. In order to be more sovereign with her voice, Silke has to learn not to question herself. She often raises her voice at the end of a sentence like a question. That sounds undecided. That's why: Speak short sentences and lower the voice to a point or exclamation point in the end.
The Zen teacher and monk Hinnerk Sobu Polenski, director of the European Zen School, Kiel
Becoming more courageous is a question of inner attitude. Resting Silke in her midst, she feels self-confidence and harmony. As soon as she loses this balance, her courage fades and she feels small. Courage in Zen Buddhism has two basic levels: the heart and the energy. Just the energy can be well balanced, z. For example through the "Exercise of the Seven Breaths". To do this, either sit upright on a chair or stand straight up, your feet apart hip-width. The palms are on the lower abdomen. First inhale naturally, then exhale slowly through the nose. Silke should imagine a feather in front of her nose, which should not fly away when she exhales softly. Repeat this breath 7 times. Inhaling is the recording of energy, exhaling the harmonious distribution of energy. Silke trains this breathing technique several times a day, she feels how energy and courage grow.
... and that's what it did
After a week I will definitely need some time until I have processed the many impulses. But some are already working. The breathing exercise, for example, gives me a great depth. I never thought that only concentrated breathing could do so much. I rest in it and get in touch with myself very much. A wonderful uncomplicated exercise also in between. I know my tendency to do everything perfectly, but I did not know why.
Thanks to the personality trainer, I realized that this perfection is a pattern from my childhood. I can handle it now more relaxed. The esteem for my work and my own ideas was hardly available. I apparently wanted to be even more perfect and stronger. Now I suspect what I'm doing and I'm no longer the biggest critic.I feel like I'm able to act again and open to new things.
Also the coaching for voice and body language is really great, something completely new for me. I am amazed at how little means you can change your charisma. The slower gait and the more upright posture look great. I feel good and believe that I'm not so discouraged anymore.
After a month I feel myself again, and this awareness of one's own self makes one more courageous. I walk upright and try to speak differently. Short sentences with concise emphasis are still difficult, but at least I try to pay attention to them and sound more confident.
In any case, the posture already shows effect: For example, I keep my head straight. Coincidentally, I have recently browsed photos of me and found that there are many pictures for 35 years, on which I tilt my head. I never really noticed that. And best of all: In the meantime, I was at a congress and there was perceived by other participants actually noticeably stronger than usual. I think my body language now conveys: "I know what I want."
My family is also taking me more seriously now. Of course, it brings conflicts into questioning rituals. I usually cook like that, but now my husband cooks again, even very well. This feels strange to all but encourages us to make further changes. Incidentally, I no longer get annoyed with my perfection pressure, but simply look at the situation positively, for example, I'm happy about how easily the role of the hostess goes by my hand.
In addition, I realized how important the profession is in my life. I have recognized my needs and take them seriously now. Others might invest time in sports or creativity, for me it is training. I have never sacrificed a Saturday for it. Now I spend eight hours on a training and enjoy that! In addition, I enrolled at the University of Hamburg for the project management degree program and took an Excel and NLP course. With good time management, I now dare to pursue my professional development. Achieving an inner balance in the spirit of the Zen philosophy will take some time, but my self-perception has changed significantly. Four weeks ago I would have said, I lead a normal life, now I find that I do something special.
