How do I tell my child that I do not want to see his father anymore?
Children are conservative. Most of all, they want everything to stay that way, that mom and dad stay together. That is why you will have to repeat it often: mom and dad are not happy with each other, they will not live together anymore. But both love you and will always be there for you. It's about fearing the child. And to make it clear: You are not to blame for the separation of your parents. We interviewed 150 divorce families at twelve-year intervals. The result was clear: who marries quickly and plays "normal family", does the child usually no favor. When the father disappears completely from the lives of his children, almost all children still suffer after many years, become ill, show behavioral problems or fail at school. Even for the fathers, this is often catastrophic. Therefore, the law now provides that parents exercise joint custody after the divorce. Although the adults, who are often totally divided, find it difficult - they should follow some rules for the sake of their child:
Give your child the assurance that they will not lose their father. Go on his visit requests. Let Dad call you without listening to Sit, let him write letters.
If you can not make contact with the father yourself, ask grandparents or friends, in case of doubt, the Kinderschutzbund. There can also be meetings between father and children.
Never talk badly about your ex-partner. Otherwise the child gets into loyalty conflicts.
Do not offer your new partner as a replacement father. The child will not join in anyway. He should be friend and buddy, nothing more.
If you can do it, celebrate children's birthday parties and Christmas together.
Stay in touch with your ex-husband. Arrange fixed visit and leave arrangements. After a few years, get together and discuss whether the regulations are still meaningful.
