Woman tea for every situation? Do we really need that to be completely a woman?
I stand in front of the tea shelf and wonder. Do I always, when I buy tea once a year, because the dazzling assortment of blends that promise me bliss and eternal youth (and then "just" tea blends) steals my mind regularly. Who needs a coach if he has EDEKA and REWE? You just have to stand for half an hour in front of a tea shelf and get the truly important question for umme along the way, namely: What do I need the most at the moment? Is it luck? Health? Peaceful sleep? Do I want to lose weight? Become wiser? Be more beautiful? The teas stare at me. I stare back, then I reach for it. In the end, the diagnosis costs about 20 euros and reads: Actually, I want everything. Gives you a reason why you only need tea once a year. The diagnoses are often very generous and they are rarely drunk.
Now I need more "being a woman"
This year is going crazy. While the world happily goes jungle (or at least tries it), in the teaspoon the blümerant-spicy femininity reserved for only one sex has returned. "For the woman who wants to find her center" or for all "in which the power of a lioness slumbers". Also "in line with the female cycle" I can live better when I buy tea. I did not know that. What was that for a life without woman tea?
One imprint more floral than the next
My eyes stick to the boxes like the tongue clinging to cold Caprieis. And again the teapot asks me what I need. I wobble undecided from one leg to another. Balance maybe, I think. But women's power smiles knowingly and the cycle tea is very admonishing in the top row. In the end I buy them all. Not that my cycle gets out of hand, just because I refuse this "must have". You never know how well the tea companies are networked. But if they promise the power of the moon, then you should be on your guard. That sounds pretty awesome!
The imprint works. After all.
At home I sit down on the sofa and begin the journey to my whole femininity. Like a rose, it will unfold today, lull me into a peaceful sleep with lavender scent and accompany me to the top of female pleasure. One bag after the other disappears in boiling water. As I wait for the boiling time, I read through the imprints and let myself slip into the transcendence of blissful tea trance. Even before I drink a single swig, I humming "Natural Woman" into a deep, restful sleep. When I wake up the next morning, my inner lioness yawns and the goddess in me makes her coffee. I'm really relieved that I did not drink the six full cups yesterday. I would have run to the bathroom twenty times tonight. That would not have pleased the goddess in me, restful sleep knows no urination. And what the hell? The product description was quite enough. Yes, damn it, I became a real woman tonight, by the power of the moon! I even think my breasts have grown a bit. Man, I am glad that there is woman tea!
